Thursday, December 31, 2009

My new weight is...

It’s time to party like is 2009!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! And what a superb year it has been and December for me truly has been one to remember! Who is foolish enough to start a weight loss program right before the Holidays? It would never work…right? Well, I’m here to tell you that it would never have worked for me without you! I jumped on the scales this morning not knowing what to expect and ended up being pleasantly surprised. My new weight is 322.6 lbs. That’s down 3.3 lbs for this week…yes, that’s right; I lost 3.3 lbs during the week of Christmas!!! And that’s 24.1 lbs for the month of December. Like I said, UNFORGETABLE!
I am so grateful for your support. I grateful for those of you who have joined with me in this quest for a better, healthier life and I certainly anticipate that more of you will come forward and make yourselves known as the time for New Year’s resolutions is upon us.
A few words about those resolutions. Be reasonable. I think all too often we set ourselves up for failure by setting goals we can no way accomplish and then surprise-surprise, when we fail we get down on ourselves and give up. This is something I’ve put a great deal of thought into and tomorrow I will post more about how to set high, but attainable long term goals and how to use the practice of setting smaller short term goals that will inch us towards getting where we want to be.
On a different note. Sam Penrod from KSL will be here within the hour. I want to stress again that I am not out to hurt the police nor add more stress to their already chaotic lives, but I do feel that better policies should be in place to help the wrongfully accused.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

After all, next time it could happen to you.

What a great day! Went for an hour-long walk this morning. I took the little dumbbells again. Not only do those suckers get heavy after a while, but their hanging from my hands reminds me to move my upper body as I walk. I had a hard time eating my 5 or 6 squares again today. But I ate some killer fish and a mess of sweat potatoes for dinner. Excellent.
I’m going to weigh-in tomorrow as I will be bringing in the New-Year out of town come Friday morning. I’m not sure what the scales will say but I still feel much slimmer and certainly much healthier than I did at the onset of my journey. To think that a food worshiping guy like me lost even an ounce of pudginess during December is awesome, but if I can keep the pudge-loss at around 20 lbs, that is truly cause for celebration. You all think the big party tomorrow night is about ringing in the New Year, but it’s about those of us who left 2009 as better, stronger people. Thanks to you, I’m in that category and 2010 better hold on tight!
Tomorrow is important for another reason. KSL is going to swing by in the morning and interview me about the police incident. I’m not going on TV to bawl about why this happened to me or to complain about being left to lay in the cold for a few minutes, nor am I going on a witch-hunt after police officers who were just doing their job. This is about securing basic rights for innocent people.
KSL has petitioned the highway patrol for a copy of the 9-1-1 call, all radio transmissions about my family, and the dash-cam-video of the incident. If they get it, they’ll be doing better than you and I if we were to try on our own. People who have gotten lawyers don’t have much luck getting the police to answer them either. That’s why we chose to work with the press. I am sure all will go fine and KSL will put together a very fair story. From there, I hope for the opportunity to bend-the-ear of someone from the State Legislator to learn if we can draft a simple bill that gives better recourse for the wrongfully accused. Wish me luck and try not to laugh to hard when the dash-cam footage shows me kissing the pavement! After all, next time it could happen to you.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


I was blown away by all the posts, emails, and phone calls I got over my “Christmas with the Cops” entry last night. Thanks for your concern as well as your advice, and thank you for sharing your stories of unjust police. I am still unsure as to what to do. I talked to an attorney and he said the only type of recourse the police ever pay attention to is when they have to answer to the media. He said that in Utah we are so pro-police that when these things go to court the civilian almost never wins…no matter what. Even when the wrongfully accused are tazered, beaten with nightsticks, or even attacked by K-9 dogs. If the details of those cases fell on the deaf ears of judge and jury, my case will never fly either. Having said that, and without being on a witch-hunt to nail cops who screw up, I do feel there is much to be done via petitioning the state legislature, the governor, and so on to improve police policy in these areas. I will most likely launch a campaign through the media and then use whatever other resources that become available to make sure the wrongfully accused have basic rights. I am still hashing out in my mind what I personally think some of those rights should be. For one, if the incident costs the wrongfully accused money to fix the damage done by the police, I think the police should have to pay for it. I think there should be an automatic system in place for the wrongfully accused to have immediate and free access to all police recordings (9-1-1 calls, radio transmissions, and dash cam video) that are relevant to the case. Then after viewing everything that took place, the wrongfully accused can decide what to do about how everything was handled by police.
If I chose to fight this, the most important thing for everyone to understand is that I am not doing this for myself. I am so over what happened. The part I can’t get over is how many of you have told me of similar stories from within your own circle of influence and not once has the police been held accountable in any way, nor have the police cooperated with the innocent victim in their quest to obtain the police recordings about the incident. THAT IS CRAP!
Now, on to my weight loss. I got up and had a great walk this morning. 2 or 3 miles I’d guess and I packed some small dumbbells for some extra resistance to my arms. I’ve had a hard time eating my small meals every 2 or 3 hours today because I’ve been down to the farm most of the day, but I have ate healthy when I did eat. I am excited to be back on track after the Holidays and with the exception of a New Year’s party, I am planning on perfect eating all week and then eating healthy forever after the first of the year.
The other cool thing was that all of the clothes I got for Christmas were too big for me by the time the presents were opened. I took everything back and got a gift card and as I drop sizes I’ll go buy some new clothes. That will be awesome when I hit that landmark.
Sorry to have posted so much news about my police case. If I launch a campaign against the “man” I’ll start posting the updates under a different blog address so it does not take away from this one.
Thanks for reading and I’ll catch you all tomorrow.

Monday, December 28, 2009

My being pulled over by fleet of State Troopers pointing shotguns at me

The weather outside is frightful, but it’s not nearly as horrifying as the case of mistaken identity that ended with my being pulled over by fleet of State Troopers pointing pistols and shotguns at me on Christmas night. My family and I were stopped by police on I-15 near Payson while traveling home from a Christmas party just after dark. I was ordered via loud speaker to keep my hands visible, shut off the vehicle, unbuckle my seatbelt, and open the car door…and remember; I’m supposed to be doing all of this while keeping my hands visible. Imposable, Right? Once out of the car, I was commanded at gunpoint to walk backwards with my hands up until it was time for me to get face down on the ground, spread eagle, without a coat while I waited to get tazed, or cuffed, or whatever it was the officers had in mind.
In the end, it turns out that a carless or possibly even malicious tipster that was driving behind me called 9-1-1 and misinformed the Highway Patrol dispatcher that I was holding a person at gunpoint in the backseat of my truck. Of course I was not. The passenger in question was my mother and the so-called pistol could only have been the cell phone I passed to her because she wanted to make a Christmas phone call. One by one, some of the officers slunked back to their cars and drove away. After 20-30 minutes I was eventually let off the frozen pavement, un-cuffed and sent home. There was no apology and very little explanation as to why this had happened.
I find it an absolute atrocity that right here in America that one anonymous person can make a phone call and get innocent people into such a life threatening predicament.
I know that this will seem strange but I have not been myself since this happened, though I am feeling better about it all today. We did not open our Christmas presents until the night of the 26th and then it was only because we had to. As far as posting to my weight loss blog, everything has taken a back seat to my wrangling the phones with police, trying to find some answers. No luck so far. They really don’t have a lot of accountability. Problems are handled internally whenever possible.
Sorry that my absents gave everyone such a scare. I will start posting happier blogs tomorrow.
PS I’ve been in contact with the TV media and they would love to put this police story on the prime time news. I am wondering if it’s the only way to get the police to cooperate with me in my quest for the dash cam video and other recordings related to my case. Tell me your opinion. Should I let the news run the story or do you all think it best to just let it all blow over?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Get’er done!

Part of me is pretty sad about the numbers I have to report today and part of me is quite okay with this week’s results. Six days ago I weighed 325.9 lbs and my current weigh is 326.8. As you can see, that’s up 9/10ths of a pound. Obviously I wish I was down and not up, but to only be up such a small amount considering the parties I’ve been to is something I can live with. I was thinking yesterday how this has still been the healthiest Holiday Season I have celebrated in at least 10 years. I know that I’m not out of the woods yet, but to have gained so little when I would have normally gained so much makes me want to hold on even harder for the next day and a half. The bottom line is that I am still down 19 lbs for December! Plus I’ve got time to lose even more before the New Year.
Tomorrow is Christmas and that means we’ll all be too busy for blogging. If I happen to get a chance, I’ll sneak away from the festivities and jot a quick entry but I won’t expect much of a response. I wish you all the best and encourage you (and myself) to figure out for you personally what it means to “feast responsibly” and then…get’er done!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

It’s the night before weigh-in and all through the house…

It’s the night before weigh-in and all through the house…
Well, tomorrow is the big day and I’m not sure how great it will be. Last week I was nearly perfect with my nutrition but sucked on exercising and still lost 5 lbs. This week I have been good at exercise but have not had the best success with the nutrition. I’m hoping to lose a few lbs but I’m scared I might break even or even be up a few. No matter what happens, I’m not going to get discouraged or anything. I’ll just have to regroup. I know there will be lots of fancy foods for the next two days but after that, I’ll have one good week before the end of the month and that should add to my already great progress. I’m going to join the local gym, maybe as early as Monday, but for sure by the first of the year and that will make it so the weather won’t hamper my outdoor exercising.
I hope you all are doing well and are having a wonder Holiday Season. See you tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I’m having a hard time

Man, I don’t know why it is, but I’m having a hard time eating my 5 or 6 small meals. I guess I’ve been too busy to think about mealtime every three hours. I did not go over on calories today but they were only spread out over three meals.
I got up this morning and decided I’d better get my jog in early today because of the snow but by the time I could get ready to go there was a few inches already on the roads. I have an indoor workout planned for tonight.
The past few days have been more like survival mode than weight loss mode. I hope to at least maintain what I have lost by this Thursday. One good friend pointed out that me losing 20 lbs in December is really like losing 35 lbs because most years I would have put on 15. I guess that’s true.
How are you all fairing weight-wise over the Holidays? I know it would do me some good to hear from you.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Time to adjust my game plan

For exercise today, I hiked the big hill and ran part of the way. I wish I could say that the stress on my vitals was exhilarating but I‘m not quite there yet. Before bed, I’ll hit the Cardio-Glide and do several sets of crunches and leg lifts.
It may be time to adjust a minor detail of my game plan. I’ve only been weighing myself once per week because I heard of a guy who did it that way and it seemed like a great plan for me as well. Besides, I figured if it’s a good enough policy for the Biggest Loser then it ought to be good enough for me…but now I am rethinking it. The Biggest Loser does it that way for showmanship and the other guy I knew does it as a way to maintain the weight he has already lost. The reason I am thinking of weighing more often, at least for now, is because I want more immediate feedback on how my health choices are affecting my body. If I’m doing something that’s going to “tank” my weight loss for the week, I’d rather find out right away and fix it. Let me know what you think. I suppose that if I do weigh more often, I’ll still only post it on Fridays. After all, we’ve got to have some drama, right?

Sunday, December 20, 2009

DANGEROUS scenario for a pig-out disaster!

Well, after all my big pledging to “feast responsibly”, it turns out that I must not understand my own concepts very well. We had a big family Christmas party out in Tooele and we were there most of the day. I had a proper breakfast at about 8:00am and then did not have the opportunity to eat again until the hors d'oeuvres were spread on the table at 3:00pm. DANGEROUS scenario for a pig-out disaster! Years back, I once had to step in front of a runaway horse to try and turn it around. As the gelding barreled towards me his eyes were rolled to the back of his head and I knew there was no stopping him. He was running blind. Well, that’s pretty much how I approached the dinner table tonight. I knew it was Christmas and I had planned to partake but I failed to plan exactly what that meant. As a result, sadly, I gorged like there was no tomorrow. Just like that runaway gelding, my eyes rolled back and I was barreling blind…and no one could have stopped me. Not even thoughts of you or my duty to write this blog entry tonight.
I don’t feel like tonight’s splurge is the end of the world, it’s just Christmas, but I have got to have better eating parameters set up before Thursday! In the meantime, what’s done is done and I can’t take it back. Now I am interested to see how tonight binge will affect the scales on Thursday (I plan to weigh early this week because of Christmas being on Friday). I will be back on track with proper nutrition and exercise tomorrow. I’ll work my butt off and then let the cellulite chips fall where they may!
Tonight marks the end of my perfect control streak. I am sorry to all those who may be disappointed in me. Hopefully, you had better success than I. I can see that I must have a premeditated plan as to what I am going to eat, and what my limits are. Tonight, I was running blind, but it’s my own fault for not lighting my own path!
I am very interested in your feedback on what I did to myself. Please post a comment, shoot me an email, or give me a call! Thanks everybody.
PS It was a very fun party, and I must say that if I was going to have a free day, I could not have picked better company or a better menu!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

My very first jog in 2009!

Today was packed with getting ready for Christmas, then I got in such a great writing grove that I darn near blew off my exercise, but fearing the recourse from my support group I went out for my very first jog in 2009! Well, I guess you could call it a jog/walk. I walked a few blocks to get warmed up and then I jogged a block and walked one, repeating the process until I’d gone 1.2 miles. It felt good to blow out the windpipe…and boy was I blowing. When I was 19 years old, I’d worked my way up to running 91 miles per week. After my mission I got up to about 25 per week. Today’s 1.2 was a far cry from my athletic prime but by spring I should be well on my way to my former cardiovascular glory.
I have to admit, I didn’t eat as good today. I did not go over on calories, but I ate them in three meals instead of 5 or 6…and, I might have snuck one of those one-inch by one-inch cheesecake squares like they have at Costco and Sam’s. It was the first unplanned treat I’d eaten since this whole thing began. Not the worst thing in the world but the slip up scared me a little. That’s why I had to be sure and hit the streets tonight even though it was cold, and dark, and the roads were icy. To slack off twice in one day would go a long ways towards my physical fitness demise.
Tomorrow is the big family Christmas party and there will be festive foods. I plan to eat some of them…but I will feast responsibly and then blog a detailed report for your scrutiny. I am going to be very careful during the Holidays but I still plan on partaking within reason. I was tempted to boycott all Holiday foods but I finally decided that it was not the Holidays that got me in such lousy shape. My problem was that I ate nearly every meal like it was a grand celebration, and then I sat on my butt day-in and day-out, letting it all turn to fat.
Well, wish me luck and I wish you the same! Merry Christmas and remember to feast responsibly!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Exercise report for the day.

Okay, after posting that I’d done a lousy job at working out these past few weeks, I had more than a few of you call me to repentance. One good friend, after giving me a brief but scathing rebuke said, “Sorry to go all ‘Jillian’ on you, but you needed to hear it!” He was right. I did need to hear it. So as promised, here is my exercise report for the day. I did three sets of fifty on my Cardio-Glide, three sets of 15 crunches, three sets of 10 leg lifts, and I walked as fast as I could up and down the steepest hill in Nephi (not sure on the distance, but if was a good huff for a big ol’ boy like me) and my heart thanked me for all of it…and now I’m thanking you for your encouraging me to step it up. From now on, my blog won’t mean anything unless I report to you about my exercise and eating. PLEASE HOLD ME TO THAT!!!

Wow…not as good as I predicted.

It’s Friday!!! That’s right, weight-loss-watchers…its weigh-in day!!! I’m hoping to make double figures again but we’ll find out in a few seconds. First, I just wanted to say that my relationship with the bathroom scale is going very well. Last week I could hardly stand to walk by the fool-thing without sneaking a peek at my progress, but this week, I’ve only been tempted a few fleeting times to check my weight in secret. I’m not saying that it’s a grievous sin to weigh in every day, but I don’t think it’s good to micro manage to the point that you’re jumping on there after every workout and every meal.
Well, it’s time to make the short pilgrimage to the bathroom. Remember, my all-time high was 371, my weight at the onset of this leg of my journey was 346.7, last week I was 331.3 and my weight today is…drum roll please…ouch! You’re leaning this as I am…my current weigh is 325.9??? Wow…not as good as I predicted. I had fantasies about skipping the 320’s altogether. But, it’s still a loss of 5.4 lbs! And I was never hungry all week (except at bedtime…which is how it should be). But then again, I can do much better on my cardio and free-weights, and I will do better this week, but I also need to remember that this is the month of December for crying out loud! I could have easily gained 20 lbs over the last two weeks rather than losing 20. So life is still great!
So far, my eating has been perfect, but I’ve pretty much sucked at exercising. To help me get it done, I’m going to post all of my physical activity each night as part of my blog. If you ever catch me not posing it, or not exercising enough…please call me on it! Organized cardio and free-weights is the next piece of my weight loss puzzle and I’ve been neglecting it big time….until now. Please let me know that you expect an exercise log from me every day! I usually don’t post twice on Fridays, but I WILL make a brief post tonight to report today’s cardio and etcetera. DON’T LET ME FORGET!!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

A full scale, four-alarm nutritional disaster!

This is certainly going down in my book as a “December to remember”. I still don’t completely understand why my going public about this weight loss battle has made me so strong. Today I was in no less than five of my most tempting stores when it comes to buying treats. I was on the road, alone…a classic recipe for a full scale, four-alarm nutritional disaster! Wal-Mart, Shopko, Kmart, Walgreens, Family Dollar…all of them loaded with tempting holiday candies, and I never gave any of it a second look. Well, that’s not entirely true. I did steel a double take at the family-sized Almond M&M’s at Walgreen. I do love those little candy coated vixens…and heaven only knows I’ve bought at least 25 bags of them this year alone and ate them all by myself. That’s why it’s so crazy to think that I did not buy any today. You know, just to have some as a-going-down-the-road refreshment. After all, that’s what I’ve always done…but not anymore, thanks to you guys.
In fact, as I think about it, today was littered with fatty temptation. I mentioned last night that I stayed over at my kid sister’s house. She’s a sweet gal, and a heck of a good cook…again…a recipe for nutritional disaster. But, she’s following my blog. She knows as well as anyone how hard I’m working at this so the only foods she tried to temp me with was a green salad for supper and a Slim-Fast shake for breakfast. (Thanks, Sis!) Then tonight I had the privilege of speaking at a ward Relief Society Christmas party and they had $200 bucks worth of Costco hors d'oeuvres as a reward for the ladies who made it through my talk. I could have heartily indulged with those ladies, but I have plans to feast responsibly at my brother’s house this coming weekend so I felt it wise to “pass” on tonight. Besides, at least three of the women in attendance tonight are following my blog and I didn’t want to let them down. What if they were counting on me to eat right so they would be strong enough to do the same? See how it works? Where all in this together!
Oh, and one more thing. Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!! And that means it’s time for another trip to the scales. I’d love to log-in a repeat of last week’s 15lbs, but who knows? Anything over 10 will be killer, anything less than 10 will…still be okay.
PS Can you tell I’m in much brighter sprits than I was last Thursday? It’s this new healthy lifestyle that does it to me. I highly recommend it!!!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

pretty short

Whew! I almost forgot to post tonight. I'm staying over at my kid sister's place so I will keep this pretty short. Life is great and its only getting better!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Better than a contest!

This blog is so much better than being in a weight loss contest! The people on the Biggest Loser have to worry about life once they get sent home, if you’re in a local weight loss contest you are concerned about what will happen when the contest is over. I have no worries because I am already home and there is no contest. It’s just me and my new life.
I was thinking that I ought to post a bit of my weight loss history so you’ll have an idea where I’ve been. My max weight in high school was chunky 238 lbs. I slimmed down my senior year to lean 185. On my mission I got up to a plump 260. Once I got home I slimmed down to 198 and had a 32 inch waist. The most I have ever weighted was whopping 371 about two years ago. I hit the gym for a while and dropped to 319 and then went back up to the 347 that I was when this phase of my journey began. It’s obvious that I’ve been in a very dangerous yoyo pattern that has left me even heavier on the up-swing than I was before I started. With all of that behind me, I am looking forward to some cool milestones. I was happy that I weighed 331 on Friday because that is so close to being in the 320’s and I have not been there for a long time. Then comes the three-teens and I have not been below that for at least 7 or eight years. Then comes the 200s! What a landmark. I have not been there for at least 10 years! Then I’ll hit 271 and that will signify a loss of 100lbs!!! What a great day that will be. By then I plan to have a better idea as to what my final weight should be and I will set goals accordingly.
Well, so now you know. Thanks again for your support, and for those who are working along with me, I have not heard from some of you for a while so please drop me a note and let me know how you’re coming along.

Monday, December 14, 2009

I can’t believe that this is going so well.

Life is great! I can’t believe that this is going so well. Never did I think I would feel this much control over my eating. I never falter, I never skip a beat. The power I get from you all following my progress is making me so much stronger than I would ever have been on my own.
Question: I’m still planning on posting to my blog every day but only posting on Facebook each Friday. I hate to post so often that I become a “Facebook Pest”. What do you think?

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I don’t feel the slightest bit deprived.

Man, I feel good. This is the second Sunday in a row where I had a killer dinner yet everything was perfectly proportioned and very healthy. The best part is that I don’t feel the slightest bit deprived. I can truly see myself living this way forever.
Last night’s dinner/game party was a breeze as well. The food was great and I took just the right amount and never looked back. The serving of cobbler I planned to eat was also good but I only ate about 2/3 of what I took. What a difference it’s made to have you all helping me! I’d never of had this much strength on my own. Thanks a million!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Have a planned treat now and again.

Great day! Home alone all day and still I kept my health promises. Tonight I am going to a party where there will be dinner. I’m going to take one helping and savor it. Also, I’m bringing a Dutch Oven cobbler and have planned to eat one serving. It will be the first sugar, or any unhealthy food for that matter, that I have ate since I began this journey. I think it’s important to have a planned treat now and again. Wish me luck. Catch you tomorrow.

Friday, December 11, 2009

That’s like a 10% reduction!!!

You all ready for this? I felt like a kid on Christmas Eve while trying to fall asleep last night. I just laid in bed thinking about how great I’m going to feel as I keep getting closer to my personal fitness goals. When the clock rolled past midnight I darn near got up and jumped on the scales right then because I was dying to see my new weight. So here are the BIG numbers. My start weight was 346.7 and my new weight is 331.3!!! That is exactly 15.4 lbs lost!!! Can you believe it? From my past experience, I thought the number might be a bit higher, but like I said the other day, I didn’t do a giant “last supper” the night before my original weigh-in and I have not been starving myself this week either. Well…what more is there for me to say today? Nothing…except…WOW!!! 15.4 lbs!!! That’s like a 10% reduction!!! THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME DO THIS YOU GUYS!!! THANKS FOR YOUR HELP!!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

I fear the “honeymoon” portion of my public weight loss journey may be fading...

Today has been the hardest so far and I’m certain some very tough days are ahead. I’m still doing the work; I’m not a slacker, but I’m feeling a bit “run down” and bit prone to devouring a sack full of Kit Kats or something. You’re all still on my mind enough that I haven’t faltered but I fear the “honeymoon” portion of my public weight loss journey may be fading away for some of us. Just like naive newlyweds, I will soon meet with the harsh reality of the massive scope and breadth of my “‘til death do us part” commitment.

I'm not going to lie to you. I fear tomorrow’s trip to the scales will be extremely pivotal to my morale. I’m expecting to post some rather large, Biggest Loser-type numbers for the first few weeks. I’m thinking 15-20lbs. I’ve lost it that quickly before but it was usually during the first few weeks of a weight loss contest, where I was guilty of sandbagging the scales by indulging in some serious gluttony right before the first weigh-in. Rest assured that I didn’t do anything like that this time as I knew I would only be cheating myself.

I think I’ll post my new weight in the morning rather than at night. If you’re prone to pray, offer a few for me. Otherwise, everybody figuratively hold your breath and exhale with me as I climb on that scale. And please don’t just pray that I’ll lose enough weight by tomorrow to make me happy, but pray that I will be able to deal with the weekly results, good or bad, in the appropriate way. Please stay with me. If you’ve been thinking about sending me a compelling message, now might be a good time. The first hurtle is always the highest, but I draw so much strength from you, especially those of you who are struggling in the trenches with me. I know together we can leap every obstacle on the course, always keeping our feet, or at least always finding the will to get up each time we fall.

Until tomorrow,

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Quest to not have food as the center of my life.

Today was another milestone! A very good friend of mine swung through Nephi to take me to lunch on his way to St. George. He’s been following my blog and actually making and keeping his fitness goals ever since. Knowing we were both on board with the whole “healthily living concept”, I suggested we hit Subway for a “Jared Special”. We both ordered heart-healthy 12 inch sandwiches, determined to eat half now and save half for our next meal. This is something I’ve planned to do a hundred times in the past but more often than not, I’ve found that a half sandwich only wakes my appetite up and then doesn’t have enough staying power to bed it back down. Today was different. I opened the wrapper, took out my half and immediately sacked the leftovers up. Brad did the same. Out of site out of mind! During the meal, we both seemed to naturally focus on the conversation and the pleasure of seeing each again rather than the meal itself. I noticed Brad even set his sandwich down between bits and I ate mine so slow that I almost forgot what kind of sandwich it even was. It took us an hour to eat and though the sandwiches were delicious, the camaraderie was the best part of the meal. It was a huge step forward in my quest to not have food as the center of my life.
As we grazed (I say grazed because the sandwich toppings were more shrubbery than chicken), Brad taught me a principle that I thought was worth repeating here. In a nutshell, he said that it’s not what you know, but how you feel about what you know. Medical doctors that are overweight may be experts in the science of nutrition; they have seen firsthand the life threatening consequences of being too heavy, but evidently they don’t feel very strongly about what they know. As an overweight layperson, I know plenty about it too, but until I felt strongly enough about what I knew to actually do something about it, I was never going to change. Maybe because reading is so much easier than using the Stairmaster, when we fail at losing weight, we think we need to read more diet books when we really need to just pick a good one and live by that sucker. This concept is the same for any act that we commit despite our knowing better. When I don’t do what I know I should, I certainly don’t need more knowledge, what I need is a working testimony of what I already have. Without the right kind of conviction, all the knowledge in the world will not be enough to constitute positive change in anyone.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Day four of my new life.

I’m in the middle of day four of my new life and I’m just dying to hop on the scales, but I won’t. Not until Friday. Although it would be fun to see just how well things are going. For now, my best indicator is that I my shirts and pants are fitting a bit better. I’m sure it’s not because I’ve lost that much weight in four days, but I’m no longer the constantly “overstuffed-turkey” that I once was. Before Friday, it was nothing for me to gulp down a 44oz beverage during a ginormous high calorie meal that was usually the size of a small watermelon. That mass I referred to as breakfast, lunch, or dinner had to accumulate some place temporary as my body toiled for hours trying to figure out where in the heck to stash everything I just ate. And my innards had to work quickly because I was about to refill it again in 3 or 4 hours. Now, my meals are streamlined, 5 or 6 small meals per day. My body seems to enjoy the lighter digestive workload and the temporary storage container in my gut does not poke out near nearly as much as a result.
Now I want to shift gears a bit. Some of you may be wondering what started all of this. The following is an excerpt from an email reply I wrote to a good friend of mine and it sums it up pretty well.
The decision to do this came very sudden. It was a very spiritual thing. The Holy Ghost pretty much said out-of-the-blue, "You need to post your struggles with weight loss on your blog". I mulled the idea around for a few days and the nagging thoughts would not leave me. Then one night, I simply knew it was time. I started texting Yori about it; half hoping he would talk me out of it, but at the same time, knowing that he would encourage me to just take the plunge.

I wrote the first blog entry but resisted clicking the "post" button, feeling the whole thing was dumb and certainly embarrassing, and EVERYONE would know about my problem. But then, something spiritual came over me again and I hit the freaking button for all I was worth. The inner peace I felt was immediate. Somehow, I know that this is going to work!

PS After making sure that someone in the gym new CPR, I agreed to play full court basketball tonight with the scouts. It was awesome!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Believe that it's out there waiting!

Can I just say that I feel great? I mean really really great! Already! That’s the coolest part about your body. It’s like my organs were just “dying” (literally) for me to start doing something healthy so they could reward me with an extra dose of exuberant zip. I think the biggest weight loss deterrent for most big people is that we feel overwhelmed. We have so much weight to lose that it seems impossible, especially when you don’t feel like waddling across the street, let alone doing any serious exercise. You step on the scale and realize how much weight you must lose to be considered skinny, and you know from past failures that you’ll never be able to diet long enough to even make a dent in your problem. The motivation to reach your target weight gets lost in the sheer amount of time it’s going to take to become thin.
The good news is, like I indicated above, your body is just waiting to reward you with an almost instant boost of energy and improved self-concept. You begin to feel better about everything day by day. Sure the grand prize is how great you’ll feel when you’ve reached your ultimate goal, but the door prizes along the way are enough to keep you going and you don’t have to be considered skinny to win them…just skinny-er. I love horses, but I never ride anymore. I love to get out and hunt, but I never get far from the truck. These are activities that you don’t have to be lean to enjoy but I do need to be lean-er first. I guess what I am finally starting to figure out is that as I become healthier; I will get my life back, probably in the order that my poor heath took it away. Maybe the last thing that I lost is the first thing I’ll get back. I might not even notice some of the earlier milestones but as I venture on, I will have some great “paydays” along the way. It will be like finding fifty-bucks on the ground, only better, because I would then be healthy enough to repeat the activity whenever I want. Think of that! A residual fifty-bucks always lying on the ground for me to pick up!!! Who wouldn’t finish a journey where there was that kind of incentive all along the way? None of us! We just need to believe that it's out there waiting!
Well, that’s it for today. Thanks again for all of your comments. Make a few as you can, it’s the only way I will ever know you’re really there.
PS Anyone know how many calories a big guy like me might burn after five laborious hours of shoveling snow? It was a heck of a workout for a big ol’ boy I know that. Plus we’ve got lots more snow on the way. I was due for a good workout today because that is the next piece of the heath puzzle I need to pay more attention to. I’m working out a bit each day, but I need to kick it up a few notches.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

To race or not to race? A 10k is the question!

Today went great! Sunday dinner was excellent, heavy on the veggies. I took the advice of a good friend who sent me a text at 7:45 this morning. It said, “Remember, only one plate. Never take seconds.” At mealtime, I gave myself and appropriate serving of everything, minus the gravy and roll. I felt very satisfied afterwards even though I ate less than half of what I usually do for Sunday dinner…let alone a “Fast-Sunday” dinner.
I was tempted to jump on the scale this morning to see how things are going but I have decided to only weigh myself once a week (Friday). I think that is the best way to forge a great relationship between me and the bathroom scale. Anything more than that seems a bit obsessive.
Another friend of mine called and said she gains a sense of commitment by entering a race that is a few months away. It gives her a goal to shoot for as she builds herself up to make a strong finish in the race. One of the races she is suggesting is a team relay where each person runs a short leg of a very long route. That one scares the crap out of me because my being able to run it fast or slow…or even run it at all, will affect the whole team. But on the other hand, it sounds like good motivation to keep up with the recommended training schedule. What do you think? Maybe I could get a good enough feeling of commitment from signing up for regular race? I guess I need to get off my butt and hit the pavement either way.
Thanks again for reading. Please let me know how you are doing with your goals as well.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

This weight loss blog has been so amazing!

Unbelievable! This weight loss blog has been so amazing and it’s only just getting revved up! It was hard…and still is hard to make all of this public but I can't believe how having you involved has made me feel so much stronger. I still have the usual temptations to eat things I shouldn’t, but almost automatically, I think of this blog and of you who are following along and I remain in control. I’ve never felt this level of commitment towards my heath. Your emails, phone calls, and comments about my posts lift me higher than you can imagine, higher than I could have ever guessed.
I was alone last night and much of today. Normally, I would have used my solitude as an opportunity to chow down like crazy but it turns out that I wasn’t really alone. YOU ALL WERE THERE. Tonight I went to a friend’s 50th wedding anniversary party. Was there cake, chocolate, and nuts? Yes, but YOU WERE THERE too. I traded the cake and chocolate for another tiny nut cup and still enjoyed myself. Now this is not to say I am never going to eat cake or chocolate, especially at parties, but when I do, I will have planned it in advance. I will plan to “feast responsibly” at all Christmas parties this year. With you in mind, I’ll put less on my plate, eat slower, and my reward will be an instant feeling of being in control and I won’t be too stuffed to drive home afterwards.
Please keep sending your support and even your recipes. Some of you have sent heath related web links and those are great too. If you see a health segment on the news, please tell me about it. And for those of you (you know who you are) who have committed to taking better care of yourselves as well, stay the course and let me know how you are doing.
Remember, I am the one who opened the floodgates here so don’t hold anything back. I’ve let myself go to the point that everyone who knows me must have at one time or another wished they could say something to me about my weight. Well, now here is your chance and I will accept it with welcome arms. The only way I will fail at this is if I get to thinking I’m alone. If I ever don’t post, I hope you will call me on it. I am begging you to “come down on me”.
Well, thanks again for helping me have such a great day! Until tomorrow, feast responsibly.

Friday, December 4, 2009

I’m still uneasy about posting all of this personal info but as a result of doing it, I have to admit that today has been great. I’ve had calls and emails from some of you offering your support and others even pledging to get in shape with me. Thank you for your help.
At first, I was thinking that it didn’t matter if any of you were really reading my posts; I just needed to “think” that you were, but now I can see that it does matter. I need to hear from you. If I were sending these posts out like a random message-in-a-bottle, never to be read, I don’t think it would help me to change at all. It has been my offering a degree of commitment and your accepting that offer that has made me feel strong enough to do this. So if you’re really out there, at some point, please make yourself known…and as often as possible. Feel free to hit me up about my progress anytime.
I went without junk food today for the first day in who knows how long. It was tough. About five times I found myself wandering around the kitchen wanting a treat. I ate a ton of fruit and even more veggies instead.
I’ve been thinking about how to manage my food intake and I have not figured that part out for sure. I hate counting calories and I am not sure I am going to have to. I think I will develop an eating philosophy that is based on nutritional rules-of-thumb and concepts such as the following: One friend of mine, when I heckled him about ordering a vegetarian sandwich for lunch, told me something very simple but it honestly blew me away. He said, “Well, I’d rather order the same sandwich as you, but I’ve just found that I can’t eat everything that I want and stay healthy.” Pretty basic rule for most skinny people, but for a fat guy, it provided me with an epiphany because I always eat what I want, every time. Another friend said, “If God made it, you can eat it. If man has messed with it, it is not very good for you.” I like that one too. And the last one I was thinking about today was from a friend who has lost a lot of weight and so far has been keeping it off. He said that it is not possible for him to eat “perfect” every meal, but he has just learned to eat the most nutritional thing available at the time. If he ends up eating lunch some place unhealthy, he still tries to order the best thing possible even if it’s the small burger rather than the usual XXL. All of these concepts feel more like long term lifestyles than fad diets. I’ve tried all the fads and they suck.
Well, thanks for reading and thanks for all of your helpful and caring responses. Hope to hear from more of you soon. I will be posting my new weight every Friday and I’ll try to blog no more or less than once per day.
Okay, so if I was on the Biggest Loser, this would be the part where I tore off my shirt in front of Oprah (I’m sure she watches BL) and everybody, and stepped on the scales to declare my start weight to the world. Well, this ain’t the Biggest Loser, and you ain’t Oprah so I’m not going to post any pictures of me with my shirt off…ever, but I am going to post my weight. Just give me two seconds while I walk into the bathroom and climb on the scale… Are you all ready for this? I wasn’t. As of today, I weigh a whopping 346.7 lbs!!! Yeah, that’s huge! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I need help! Already this morning I have been getting emails from friends and family and I love it. Basically, I’ve opened the floodgates here and that means I am up for suggestions and especially encouragement. It means that for all of you who have seen me waddling around in my blubborious state and wished there was something you could say or do to help me, this is your permission slip, this is me asking for you to talk about it. If you don’t mind letting other people see what you wrote, please post your comment on my blog. If you want to send something that only I can see, email it to me via Facebook or
I really, really need your help on this one guys, or it won’t work. If I feel like I’m just making promises to myself, I’ll just keep eating and loafing around like I am alone.
PS I kept my promise from yesterday and I rode my cardio glide before I went to bed last night, even though I felt too tired to do it, and despite the fact that I’d actually stacked a bunch of boxes on it that all needed to be moved first. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME DO THIS! THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME KEEP THAT ONE SIMPLE PROMISE TO MYSELF! Please don’t quit on me now!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

This is me saying I need help!!!

Does anyone know what the symbols mean between these two parentheses? (• • • — — — • • •) It’s Morse code for S.O.S. and this is me saying I need help; this is my S.O.S. call to whoever is out there...and I almost hope it’s nobody because what I have to say is very personal but I am saying it anyway. No. I’m not gay! But I am tired of being overweight and most of all I hate looking and feeling unhealthy. What I need is to make a long term commitment to a healthy that I can live with forever. What I don’t have is enough staying power to do what I know I need to do. I need commitment, and that’s where you all come in. I have looked nearly everyone that I love in the eye and swore to them that “today was the day I was going to change!” and I couldn’t keep my promises. I’ve let them down, and more tragically myself, so many times that I don’t even know who I am anymore and I don’t know if they know me anymore either. I am tired of running into old friends from my mission or college to find that they don’t even recognize me...and that has really happened. I’m tired of not being able to do the things I once loved to do. I’m tired of not being as confident about my appearance. I’m tired! I’m tired! I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired for that matter.
But what about you? (If there’s even anybody even reading this.) I haven’t lied to you. I haven’t broken any promises between us have I? What if I sat here tonight and blogged to the world (who may or may not be reading) that tomorrow is a new and better day, a healthier day? What if I posted my hurtles, pitfalls, and progress? Would posting it make a difference to me? Would I have your support or would you be embarrassed for me. I would think it fair if you were embarrassed for me. I am embarrassed myself about this whole crazy idea. I am absolutely the last guy in the world to admit that I need help. I’m usually the one doing the helping, but today is my day to swallow my freaking pride and say that I need help. I need a level of commitment like I’ve never had before and I am hoping, even praying actually, that I can get it from you. Besides, I’m not the only one who struggles with this. I mean after all, we are in America right? Most of us are living far too high on the hog...and the hogs in this country are healthier than most of us by the way.
If I have the guts to post this blog (I’m 467 words into it and I still don’t know if I will do it) will you have the guts to show your support and even join me in a quest for a better life? Either way, I’m in. And to prove it, I am looking you all in the eye right now and swearing that I will not go to bed tonight without doing some sort of exercise, and tomorrow when I wake up, I’m going to post to you that I kept my word about my health for the first time in far too long of a time! And I’m going to keep posting my goals, progress, the ups and downs, for as long as it takes for me to change or until I’m dead...which isn’t far off I’m afraid, if I don’t start taking better care of myself.
PS If you think I sound serious now, wait until in the morning because I am going to post my weight and goals for the day! Holy Crap! I can’t believe I’m doing this but I’m at the end of my pitiful rope! Besides, this is so stupid that it just might work!!!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

After accepting an invitation by Valor Publishing to write a review for Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff’s new book I must admit that I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I was busy working on so many other projects that I questioned where I’d ever find the time to read such a book let alone write a decent review. A few days after my commission from Valor, the advanced reader’s copy arrived via U.S. mail and I dutifully put the unopened package on top of the to-do-pile that looms next to my desk…and there it sat, and sat, and sat. The really unfortunate part for me was that every night I’d settle into bed with the usual heavy loads of the day piled up in my mind, wishing I had a truly great fictional read that I could sink my teeth into, a needed diversion from my nonfictional daily grind. I remained in this “fictionally challenged” state for several days until I finally unburied Valor’s shipping envelope, tore it opened, and dumped the book into my hand and experienced the first of many pleasant surprises Mark Shurtleff had to offer. The book I’d deferred reading because I wasn’t in the mood for more political satire, was anything but political, instead it was historical fiction. That’s right, a novel…from a lawyer-politician, and the plot turned out to be very fascinating.
Through his years of research coupled with a heart wrenching storyline, Mark Shurtleff has brought to us an unlikely hero from the annals of true American lore. Am I not a man? The Dred Scott Story had me from hello and I immediately regretted not having the novel situated on my nightstand, half-read. The book’s poignant message is especially timely considering all the trouble that’s going on around us in the world today. All of us think we have problems, and I suppose that sometimes we really do, but Shurtleff’s hero, Dred Scott has us all beat if you ask me. Born in bondage, reared in chains, Dred was deemed another man’s property, chattel that could be bought and sold receiving no more consideration for his own desires than a dumb ox, yet inside of that man were the seeds of genuine greatness that he was destined to do something about.
Dangerously ahead of his time, Dred had the audacity to take the Declaration of Independence at its word “that all men are created equal and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights.” And that doctrine became the platform upon which a black slave dared to challenge the statuesque and unwittingly change the course of American history in the process.
Dred eventually fought for his liberty in the white man’s court, winning the wildest dream of his heart only to bask in his freedom briefly before everything was again taken away as the courts later declared that because Dred was “not even a man” he and the rest of his race were excluded from The Declaration of Independence and even Biblical doctrines concerning the equality of mankind. Fortunately for America, and to my delight as the reader, Dred’s story doesn’t end there and the legal battle for he and his family’s freedom continued. His plight even caught the attention of one Mr. Abraham Lincoln whose eventual Presidency of the United States was heavily influenced by Dred’s infamous battle in court.
A master at his craft, Shurtleff offers the reader a heavy dose of historical data and legalese, but the necessary wealth of information is blended with a fascinating true-to-life storyline that enhances the reader’s understanding of one of the most difficult periods in U.S. history. Highly entertaining and certainly eye-opening—Am I not a man? The Dred Scott story should be added as the new staple to your historical fiction collection.

Brent Boswell
Author, The Mormon Handcart Pageant

Here is the link to purchase the book

And the link for the Kindle