Friday, January 8, 2010

The teens—the teens—the teens!

The teens—the teens—the teens!
That’s right weight-loss-watchers! The illusive 3-teens have been found! I’ve finally been able to do in only 5 weeks that which I casually assumed I could do in 2, but “do it” I did…even if it was just by a hair. My new weight is 319.8! That’s only down 2.8 lbs since last week, but considering the grub I mowed-through over the course of two major year-end parties, I guess the numbers could be much worse, and oh…did I mention that I was in the teens again?
The best part is that after a few more days of hard work, I’ll weigh less that I have in like 6 or 8 years!!! (Don’t worry; there’ll be no charge for awesomeness…or attractiveness!!!) Another thing I wanted to say has to do with the way I feel and not the numbers on the scale. Sure I didn’t even hit the 3 lb mark this week but I feel so much leaner. Over the past seven days, I’ve noticed my clothes fitting better and I had to take up a notch in my belt (and it was NOT because I stretched the leather out with my gut!).
I was forced to attain my cardio out-of-doors today, due to some scheduling problems. I drove my truck to the bottom of Nephi’s steepest hill, hopped out and hit the pavement with a vengeance. It was only like 9 or 10 degrees out and I worried about burning my lungs (which are still relatively weak) but I forged my body upward in a pretty serious furry. In short, I kicked that hill’s butt! Once at the bottom, I wheeled around and kicked that sucker again just for good measure, though I must admit, it kicked back about 3 blocks into my second trip. At that moment, I considered turning around, after all, one hard-core trip up was plenty for a big ol’ boy like me, but then I thought of you and how proud you’d be of me, and how proud I’d feel as I told you about it. Those thoughts were all the fuel I needed to keep pounding forward. IT FELT GREAT!!!
For those of you struggling in the trenches with me, keep up the fight! I was thinking for a minute today that a guy in my poor physical condition could easily kill-over with a heart attack from pushing myself too much, but I decided if that were to happen, I was only speeding up the inevitable by trying to fix my body before it fixes me. Now…my ticker has always been pretty good, luckily great heart-heath runs in my family or I’d be worm-food already, and I really don’t think I’ll kill over anytime soon. But if I do, I’d rather bite-the-bullet charging forward across the battlefield, firing-at-will, than turning up among the dead with a bullet in my back! Sounds gruesome I know, but I am tired of retreating from this personal battle! It has driven me into retreat for the final time!
PS Please note that no animals were injured in the writing of today’s blog, don’t text and drive, and please please please…check with your doctor before starting any exercise program.


  1. Brent, you made me cry! WAAAAAHOOOOOO!!! I am so happy for you! Reading about you conquering that hill not once, but twice, was inspiring! I am still struggling with the exercise. It is so hard for me to make time, and even harder to be motivated. I am like a frightened mole trying to be convinced to come out into the sunlight. I need a personal trainer to kick my rear and. Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

  2. Brent, you svelte dude! How awesome! I am cheering you on, majorly.

  3. Rachel,
    You need to buy the new and improved “Convicted Felon Workout Video”. Can’t get leave the house for a great workout? Well, now YOU don’t have too. From the makers of the disposable toothbrush prison-shank, and the hollowed-out King James Version of the Bible, comes the most creative workout video in ten years (six if you get out for good behavior).
    You’ll be rocking out to hit tunes like “Jailhouse Rock,” “Folsom Prison Blues,” and the ever popular “I’ll be paroled for Christmas”. There’s no expensive equipment to buy all’s you need are 4 one-gallon Zip-lock bags full of water (approx weight 3 lbs each), a plunger handle, 2 feet of dental floss, and 8-track cassette player and you’re on your way to a firmer, meaner you!
    Call now and get the penal system librarian’s bestselling book, “Con-Be-Gone: The lifetimer’s guide to prison yard self defense” completely free. You only need to pay for smuggling, shipping, and handling! ACT NOW!!!
    Thanks for watching. I’ll have to post some “after pics” before the next writers conference or you guys will never recognize me! (I hope!)

  4. Haha! Brent, you are funny! That sounds like exactly what I need. I was pondering about possibly digging up a "Sweating to the Oldies" VHS at my favorite thrift store. My kids would crack up laughing if I did, but I gotta move, baby, gotta move!