I can never go back!

Sunday dinner today was a culinary experiment that turned out pretty dang good. I’ve got so I just log on to one of my favorite “healthy recipe” websites, type in a short list of the meat and veggies I have in the kitchen, click enter, and through the miracle of the WWW, up pops 25 or 30 nutritious dishes to choose from that are based on the ingredients I have on hand. Today I made roasted pork tenderloin, and something that can be best described as the carrot’s answer to creamy tomato soup. I also whipped up some kind of low cal, low fat, creamy-cauliflower dish. The soup turned out like nothing I’d ever seen before but it was pretty tasty. The whole meal totaled to about 400 calories, which is not bad for what is traditionally the biggest, richest, meal of the week.

The other night, I tried on a few leather jackets that I’d had stashed in the closet for several years, and would you believe that they all fit? I also slipped into three more pairs of dress slacks that I’d previously outgrown and they fit as well. I still have a good ways to go to get into most of my suits, dress shirts, and spot coats, but it won’t be long until I can wear them all.

I stayed up until 2:30am that same night reading my old journals. I found that back in 2000, I weighed 340 lbs. A few months later I was down to 280 but I was only there for a short time. Sadly it was another failed attempted at crash dieting that ended with me getting heavier than ever. The good news is, what I am doing now is not a diet! My healthy habits had a beginning but they have no end. I do catch myself once in a while craving some of the massive quantities of junk food that I used to eat, and I think briefly that “when this is over, I’m going to get me a bunch of that”, but then I snap out of the destructive reverie and remind myself that this is not a diet. There is no looking forward to a time when I can go back to eating the way the “old me” once did. Sure I’ll indulge in a small amount of some of those kinds of foods, but I can never go back to the way things were.

Ran a mile without stopping!

Wow…it’s late. Let me just say that today was a good one. Along with a nice walk, I ran for almost a mile without stopping. Oh, and I ate perfectly. Hope you had a great day too and I promise I’ll write more tomorrow.

Good Night.

Sometimes less is more...

Not much time to post today but sometimes less is more…as in more pounds lost. Last week I weighed in at 312.9 and today I weigh 307.1! That’s down 5.8 lbs! It’s also the biggest loss I’ve posted since my first week. Sweet!

Well, I’m off for a little exercise. Catch you tomorrow.

The belt-holes never lie.

Huh…that’s odd. I went to cinch my belt an extra hole this morning and there were no holes left to cinch. Is that cool or what? I’ve had lots of “pay days” since I started my quest for a better, healthier life, but having to punch 3 more holes in my belt is by far one of the best. Belt leather without holes is very tangible evidence that my huge gut is finally in full retreat.

I was just thinking how every belt I own has a disheartening story to tell, a story of bulging pressure and great expansion. Like reading the rings of a tree, you can look at my belt to study how my use of each overstretched hole slowly progressed from one belt-hole to the next. You can plainly see how my midsection has bloated over time. And now, finally, my belt-holes are telling the same story, only in reverse…and this version has a much happier ending.

Tomorrow is Friday, and that means weigh-in day for me. I’m excited because this is the healthiest week I’ve had since Christmas. I’ve been exercising like a track star, budgeting and counting my calories, and even getting more sleep, so I’m expecting some great weight loss numbers in the morning. I hope the good numbers turn out to be true, but even if I only lose another 3 or 4 lbs this week, I won’t be disheartened because no matter what the scales say…the belt-holes never lie.

Off leash for the day!

Sorry for flying under the radar yesterday by not making a blog post. I left for Orem early Tuesday morning for a very significant meeting with the BSA, from there I ended up spending the night at my kid sisters house where time just slipped away from me. Little Sis even reminded me mid-afternoon that I could use her computer to make my post and yet I still didn’t “get ‘er done”. The good news is that even though I was “off leash” for the day, I still ate like a genuine champ. Sis fixed us a scrumptious salad for lunch, a bowl of sliced apples for a late afternoon snack, and when we went for dinner at the world famous Santaqueen Drive-In, I ordered a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a thick candy bar shake! Or at least I actually thought of order all of that…okay, the shake part anyway, but when it came time to order, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I had a grilled chicken salad with triple tomatoes and an ice water…awesome!

It’s obvious to me that I am becoming a changed man, not just physically but mentally as well. It seemed last night that “the new me” repelled the unhealthy food with the same stubbornness that “the old me” utilized to attract me to it. Now, of course I’ll eat junk food again…my life can never be totally void of milk shakes, but I hope to always indulge as a part of a plan, and never an impulse. I still have a long ways to go before I am in perfect control, for example, my last nutritional relapse was as recent as twelve days ago but last night at the drive-in was very encouraging.

All-in-all yesterday was a fine success, the prognosis for today looks splendid as well and I hope yours does too.

Tasty yes, but still very stupid!

The “getting fit” paydays just keep on coming! Today I had the opportunity to help an elderly couple move out of their apartment. As usual, there were only a few able bodied guys on hand to make the move, but now that I am feeling so dang fit and spry, I didn’t even care that I would be doing most of the heavy stuff. Trip after trip I hauled stuff out to the trailer and hardly broke into a sweat. I didn’t even curse under my breath about the long set of stairs! (We really big people hate stairs, mostly because they go up and down, oh…and also because of gravity!)

I’ve said this before, but one of the coolest things about our bodies is that we don’t have to be considered slim to feel better. Once we reward our bodies with better food and regular exercise, our bodies are very quick to reward us by letting us feel better. And have you noticed the opposite is also true? One bad food binge and the gluttony sucks the life right out of you for several days.

Why I lived the way I used to live was just so freaking stupid (tasty yes, but still very stupid), and the only thing dumber would be for me to revert back to my old ways. A good friend of mine used to say, “Why do we do the things we do when we know the things we know?” I guess it goes back to what I said a few weeks ago. It does not matter what you know, it’s how you feel about what you know that dictates your actions. A doctor that smokes knows all about the ill effects, but the good doctor must not feel very strong about those ill effects or he or she would be ex-smokers already. The bottom line is, if I’m going to change, I’ve got to feel the need for change right to my very core. Looking back, that’s exactly what happened to me the night I cried out into cyberspace for your help. I’d been on enough diets to know a lot about getting healthy, but it was not until I felt super passionate about it, and was willing to swallow my pride, that I was able to begin making the needed change. Once in a while I forget, and that’s why I sometimes "fall off the wagon" for a few days, but then I remember my blog, and those of you who are pulling for me and I have no choice but get passionate all over again because I can’t allow myself to break my promises to you. You are the reason I’ve been able to keep on keeping on!


In the words of Little Cesar’s Pizza, (who, by the way, has nearly gone out of business since I quit eating there) “Thank you! Thank you!

“Mommy, that man is fat!”

Just another Sunday in weight loss heaven!

This counting calorie concept has really been a huge breakthrough for me! Here I’ve fought doing it this whole time, only to learn firsthand that counting is king! The really cool thing is that understanding calories isn’t even rocket science. You just read the food label or consult the web, do a quick bit of math, jot down a few simple numbers in your check ledger and that’s it! Oh, and you have to remember not to overeat! Historically, that part can be a bit tricky, but it’s still not as hard as engineering a rocket, and I’m telling you, it’s easier to eat less when you’re keeping a daily food log.

Tonight was one of those little paydays that I keep talking about. We went to visit a family friend who hadn’t heard that I’d been losing weight. One of the first things our friend said when I strolled through her door was “you’re losing weight!” How cool is that? She wasn’t a part of my “paid” support group trying to encouraging me on, she’s just a random lady that blurted out her first observation, which by the way, is far cry better than some wide-eyed kid at Wal-Mart pointing at me, telling his mother “Mommy, that man is fat!” Yeah, that kind of blurting is never fun, even though I always mustered a fake chuckle just so the kid’s mom doesn’t cuff the honest little sucker up-side the head.

On another note, I’m slightly freaked out but also excited that the big race is coming up so soon. It’s hard to imagine that in just a few short weeks I’ll actually be running three miles (hopefully non-stop) in Delta. I’m glad that some of you have committed to the run already, and hope there will be more, if not for this race, maybe the one in late March. Give it a think, will you?

See ya tomorrow!

In my young stud prime...

While my progress isn’t exactly traveling at the speed of light, it is pretty satisfying for me to see that I’ve lost almost 35 lbs since this whole “blog thing” began and 58 lbs since my weight peaked out at 371! Very cool. Thanks again for all of your help and support. Your following my blog drives me more than you could ever imagine. I’m getting excited about the February race and am glad to hear some of you are training to run it with me. It will be the start of my renewed love for running. In my young stud prime I was running over 90 miles per week and I would love to be able to do it again.

I spent about 20 minutes last night trying on some of my “skinny” clothes and found that three or four shirts are now a decent fit and so are some of the pants. How cool is that?

I had a great walk/run this morning. I can feel my lungs are opening up and my stamina is coming back. In fact, I had to hold myself back just a bit because I can’t risk an injury. After another week or so, I’ll be confident enough in my body’s ability to handle the constant pounding and then I’ll push myself to the limit.

This calorie counting tactic is really paying off.

What’s that you say? I look thinner than I have in 7 or 8 years? Well…I look that way because I am thinner than I’ve been for 7 or 8 years! What a difference a few healthy days can make! After being off-track, I finally kicked in the afterburners and finished the week pretty good weight loss wise! Last week I tipped the scales at 316.7 and this week I was down to 312.9. Not quite four pounds, but still pretty good considering my overindulgent weekend.

This new calorie counting tactic is really paying off for me. To be calorically aware of everything I stuff into my face has a way of opening my eyes as to how I got this way in the first place. When I look at the massive amounts of calories I used to eat day-in and day-out, it just blows me away. I’m thinking that I had more 10,000 calorie days per week than most professional sumo wrestlers! But now my life is different, now I am in smooth calculated control and it feels great!

I went for an outdoor walk/jog today. It was the first time I’d traveled four miles on foot in a coon’s age and I loved it. I’m starting to get my “lungs back”, which will be very handy when it comes to breathing.

For those of you who’ve committed to the Delta Goose Run, I can’t wait to see you there. I’m going to be pushing myself pretty hard between now and then because I want to be able to run the whole thing. It will be a miracle if I can, but I’m thinking that if faith can move mountains, it ought to handle moving my big rear 3.1 little miles at a decent jog.

Sidestepping mallards in Millard!

Due to popular demand, and also to the fact that I need a tangible reason/deadline to push myself speed-wise a little harder than I have been, I’ve finally found a few good races to enter. The first one is going to be February 20th in Delta, Utah of all places. The best part is the race name. I’m going to be running in “The 2010 Wild Goose Chase 5k!” The course is part paved, part dirt, as it winds its way along Gunnison Bend Reservoir during the height of the annual Snow Goose Festival, where the waterfowl can be viewed and admired as you huff past them. Those of you who know me have already guessed that I’ll be packing a shotgun just in case a few low-fliers swoop within range! What a rush it will be dodging goose droppings, jogging along side a pack of fellow rednecks wearing snow boots!

The next race, the Operation Smile 5k in Utah County, is on March 27th. The punishment starts at Mt. Timpanogos Park, follows the canyon trail as it juts down by Nunn's Park and then on down the Provo River trail, making a loop back to Mt. Timpanogos Park.

Too be honest, I like that the Provo race is in March rather than February, as I could use as much time as possible to prepare my big body for speed, but I’ll be danged if I just can’t resist them Delta Geese, even if the early deadline kills me, literally. What can I say, some people get death defying, twisted kicks running with the bulls in Barcelona and I’ll get mine sidestepping mallards in Millard!

Now all of this brings me to the $50 question. Is there anyone in the ranks that wants to run these suckers with me? You see, I’m afraid I’ll fill out the form, send the meager entry fee, and start moving a little faster each day until the race begins, but if I’m left to go it alone, I could see myself dropping out. If you come run with me, I swear we’ll have a good time, and the preparation will help us push ourselves a little harder along the way. There are lots of training schedules on line, including some that claim to get you off the couch and ready for your first 5k in just 8 weeks. If you’re already off the couch, then let’s get moving toward the Delta deal ASAP!

Any takers?

Something tells me I’m onto something good!

Something tells me I’m onto something good!

A friend of mine who is doing very nicely with his weight loss goals shared with me a glistening pearl of insight. He sent me to search the internet for a website that helps calculate the number of calories your body needs per day to maintain your current weight. I found a good one, (freedieting.com for those who are interested) entered in my stats, i.e. height, weight, age, gender, and through the magic of computer science, the program spits out how many calories I must eat to either maintain or lose weight. According to the calculations, a guy my size requires more calories to maintain my current weight than someone smaller. (That’s why you have to enter your own stats.) This is important information because it’s not healthy or even effective to just guess how many calories you need. It turns out that weight loss is more about science and mathematical facts. You learn the number of calories you need to maintain, and for every 3,500 calories you deny your body, your body will burn off one pound.

I mentioned very early on in my quest for a better, healthier life, that I was not going to become “Mr. Jonny Count Your Calories” but I was wrong. You have to count them; you have to know exactly where you’re at every day. My informative friend said that he packs a 3x5 note card in his pocket, writes down everything he eats, searches the web or reads the label to learn how many calories the item has, and then makes sure he ends the day having eaten the perfect number of calories. He is the kind of guy who needs to lose maybe 40 or 50 lbs and he has already lost 20 since the first of the year by following this simple procedure. Though I thought the note card idea was okay, I figured an even better way to keep count. I dug up a pocket sized check ledger to use in keeping track of my calories. Each morning I’ll write down a calorie “deposit” in the ledger and then as I eat, I’ll list the item and then deduct the number calories much like you would after writing a regular check. And POOF! You now have a very convenient, easy to read, running balance for the day, plus it will be an easy way to measure your weight loss performance over time because you’ll have it all written down someplace where you can find it.

Whew! Now that’s what I call a POST! Sorry for being so wordy, but hopefully I’m onto something that will really help me (us) to succeed!

Sold in “girl” colors only...

Man, I’ve been thinking about my blog all day and had thus assembled some very interesting thoughts to share but the time has gotten away from me and my brain is already shutting down for the night. I promise to share more with you tomorrow.
I did have a great walk with my new weights. I won’t say how much (or how little) they weigh, but let me just say that as long as the weights I am able to carry with me are sold in “girl” colors only (purple in this case)…I will assume that I have much room for improvement.

Also, a great friend of mine, who also happens to be a professional fitness trainer at the Biggest Looser Ranch near St. George gave me a bunch of race information so I’ll be signing up for something very soon. I hope that many of you will be there to run that sucker as well.

Keep working hard and I’ll catch you tomorrow

CRASH AND BURN!

CRASH AND BURN!

For those of you who thoughtfully wrote to congratulate me on my resisting the temptation to snack inappropriately while alone at the cabin…not so fast! It turns out that I was better at resisting temptation alone than I am with a crowd. I ate a terribly unhealthy breakfast this morning, then pledged to eat smart the rest of the day. Then came lunch…failed! Then came cookies and milk…failed miserably! And now do I feel like exercising? Not in a million years! The cruddy, sluggish feeling that has overtaken me is akin to the way drunks feel after an all night binge at the bar. Basically, I have eaten myself right into yet another “fat-guy-hangover”! Question: Why do people get drunk and party all night when they know they’re going to feel like dog crap all the next day? Answer: I don’t know, but we fat people do the exact same thing—our drink of choice…Syrup-N-Grease!

Resolution: I’m going to pry my grease-drunk butt off this chair and do some physical activity even though it feels like the last thing in the world I would ever want to do. At least I might be able to get the crud flowing in the right direction.

I hate to come on line and post about days like today, but for those of you laboring under the delusion that this is magically easy for me, and unexplainably harder for you…now you know! This is war! We’re all in the trenches together and the enemy’s shells are raining down on me as well as you. But we can’t stop! Bad nutrition days are still in my future but they are going to become fewer and farther in-between! Right now is a new hour and tomorrow is a new day and I am swearing to you that I will make it great; that I will eat the right things and do the right kinds of activities.

Please hold me to it!!! If you read my blog tomorrow and don’t feel that I toed-the-line, I expect (NEED) to hear from you! If you feel like coming down hard on me today…I wish you would. Even if you’ve just had a lousy day and want to take it out on me…do it! At least your frustration will be taken out on a guy who needs his butt kicked more often than he’s getting it! Oh, and thank you in advance for kicking my trash!

Sorry I missed you all last night!

Sorry I missed you all last night!

I went to the cabin around 10am on Saturday and ended up staying the night. I’ll be going back up right after church and since there is no internet up there, this post will have to do for Sunday’s as well.


I’m pretty sure that yesterday was the healthiest I’ve ever managed to eat while in the mountains. I was alone up there for 3 or 4 hours until the family arrived, and although the cabin is stocked to the hilt with treats, I was able to resist, because of you guys. This process is not moving as quickly as I would like, but it is moving and I am so grateful that I was prompted to start posting like this and I am so grateful to all of you who follow along. I swear you’re being there is making the difference between my success and my failure.


I wish you the best in dealing with your own demons (we all have them) and please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.


See you on Monday!

I missed it by that much!

In the words of the bumbling Maxwell Smart, “I missed it by that much!” The lowest I’ve weighted in the past 8 or so years is 315 lbs and today I hopped on the scales and logged in a modest weight loss of 3.1 lbs for the week. My new weight is 316.7!

Not as low as I’d hoped but better than gaining or staying the same. A part of me is very pleased with how things are progressing, but another part of me wants to literally kick my own self in the rear! Science says that if I lose the weight nice and steady, over a longer period of time I’ll be more likely to keep it off, but science also says a guy my size is a freaking time bomb waiting to explode and that every day I live like this is like counting from ten backwards, with reaching zero being a catastrophic health emergency!

What to do…what to do?

Had a great walk today…that was good! Going out to dinner tonight…that could be scary but I plan on ordering a nice leafy bowl of green weeds, so all should be well.

Five dollars worth of Cold Stone in the trash!

Spent the day on the road and certainly did not eat as well as I should. I only ate once, but when I did…it was Chinese food, and way too much of it. Tasty yes, but very unhealthily. I console myself a little when I remember that the old me would have went for a Chinese buffet rather than a single serve joint like the one we went to but it was still unplanned and thus against the rules.

After the Chinese, I figured all was lost for the day and suggested we stopped for ice cream. In a moment of weakness, I ordered the largest size of hard-serve they had and dove in. The only good thing about it was that a few bites into the cream, I stopped, shoved it away, and ended up throwing five dollars worth of Cold Stone in the trash.

Today’s exercise went great. That was the one good thing I did today. I’m thinking more and more of committing to “going raw” for at least 7 days. I don’t want to promise that which I cannot perform so I will have to think it over a bit more before pledging to do it. I’ll keep you posted.

My fellow weight warriors!

Whole-wheat lasagna anyone? Tonight was my first time making the triple-layered pasta dish and it turned out pretty well. I used a non-fat recipe and hardly noticed the difference between that and the real thing. I can only guess that my indifference is either because I’ve gotten used to the taste of health food, or the recipe was not as healthy as it claimed to be.

I had a great walk this morning and even jogged part of the way. By the time the roads thaw, I’ll be trucking around town at an accelerated pace and loving it.
By now I should weigh less than I have in years and years but we’ll wait until Friday to find out for sure. Wish me luck!

PS It’s been a while since I’ve heard from some of you, my fellow weight warriors. DON’T YOU GO QUITTING ON ME NOW! Please let me know how you’re getting along.

Should be monumental!

It’s like Invasion of the Body Snatchers around my place and I don’t know what the aliens did with the old me, but they can keep him…because the new me was just watching the news and suddenly felt like dropping to the carpet for a few sets of impromptu pushups! Just in case you’re wondering…THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE, or at least not in the last ten or fifteen years. Like I said…Invasion!

I’ve been really into sweet potatoes these days. I don’t know what it is about them orange little suckers, but I’m starin’ to like ‘em better than the whites.

This Friday’s weigh in should be monumental. I’ll weigh less than I have in like seven or eight years. How freaking cool is that? Before long I’ll be too skinny to drive with the truck windows down or I might blow out. I guess I could always drive with a 50 lb sack of flour on my lap or something…or get me a baby car seat with them fancy dancy shoulder harnesses. Any other ideas?
Thanks again for reading! Catch ya tomorrow.

You’re jeans call ‘em like they see ‘em…every time!

Geez, looks like another uneventful day in Slimmerville. I had a great indoor walk this morning. I pushed myself pretty hard for an hour and really could have kept it up a lot longer but I ran out of time. Can’t wait for it to warm up, even if it’s just a bit, so I can do my trekking outside. I’ve also come to the realization that I need some heavier weights to lug around. Sounds like a trip to “Wally-World” is in order.
I guess it’s pretty good news that I wore a pair of pants last night that I hadn’t been able to shimmy into for almost a year, same with the shirt. The scales don’t always get it right, but you’re jeans call ‘em like they see ‘em…every time!
I’m thinking about shifting to a temporary “raw food diet” but (A) I’m not sure I can do it, (2) I’m not sure it’s even that great heath-wise, and (III) AM I FREAKING CRAZY? Maybe…but, I would be interested in your feedback and information concerning any raw food diet plans that you may be aware of. I’m thinking of “going raw” for at least a week, but maybe 30 days. Hook me up with your input…I’m wide open on this subject, so come on…fess-up.

Calorie-wise supper that tasted like a million bucks.

Whoa. It got late all of the sudden. Just got back from seeing a great friend who lives in Murray. She fixed us a calorie-wise supper that tasted like a million bucks and then we chit-chatted the night away.
Not much to report other than all is well. We’re still looking for the perfect race but apparently the smaller ones don’t always make themselves known this far in advance. Hopefully we can find one soon or we’ll have to run in a bigger one. I guess that may not be all bad if we start training now.
Well, there’s no use dragging this on. Hopefully you’re all smart enough to be in bed by now anyway. Goodnight!

All’s well on the weight-loss-front!

All’s well on the weight-loss-front! I tried cooking up some brown rice and chicken for lunch today, I say tried because I somehow the rice mutated to near goop. The poultry part turned out good enough to make up for it though. For dinner it’s another “culinary miracle” taco salad, I can never get enough of those…even when I pass on the chips, sour cream, and cheese.
I am pretty excited about how things are going so far. I wish the scales were dialing down quicker, but I am getting hooked on exercise. Before my feet hit the ground in the morning, I find myself doing crunches in bed. I look forward to the walks each day and am very excited for when I graduate into running full speed. It’s been a long time since I self propelled the wind through my hair (what’s left of it).
I hope that you’re all having a great weekend as well. I’m still waiting for someone to come forward and take me up on preparing for a race together. Without someone to do it with, I could see me just sitting around doing nothing all summer!

The teens—the teens—the teens!

The teens—the teens—the teens!
That’s right weight-loss-watchers! The illusive 3-teens have been found! I’ve finally been able to do in only 5 weeks that which I casually assumed I could do in 2, but “do it” I did…even if it was just by a hair. My new weight is 319.8! That’s only down 2.8 lbs since last week, but considering the grub I mowed-through over the course of two major year-end parties, I guess the numbers could be much worse, and oh…did I mention that I was in the teens again?
The best part is that after a few more days of hard work, I’ll weigh less that I have in like 6 or 8 years!!! (Don’t worry; there’ll be no charge for awesomeness…or attractiveness!!!) Another thing I wanted to say has to do with the way I feel and not the numbers on the scale. Sure I didn’t even hit the 3 lb mark this week but I feel so much leaner. Over the past seven days, I’ve noticed my clothes fitting better and I had to take up a notch in my belt (and it was NOT because I stretched the leather out with my gut!).
I was forced to attain my cardio out-of-doors today, due to some scheduling problems. I drove my truck to the bottom of Nephi’s steepest hill, hopped out and hit the pavement with a vengeance. It was only like 9 or 10 degrees out and I worried about burning my lungs (which are still relatively weak) but I forged my body upward in a pretty serious furry. In short, I kicked that hill’s butt! Once at the bottom, I wheeled around and kicked that sucker again just for good measure, though I must admit, it kicked back about 3 blocks into my second trip. At that moment, I considered turning around, after all, one hard-core trip up was plenty for a big ol’ boy like me, but then I thought of you and how proud you’d be of me, and how proud I’d feel as I told you about it. Those thoughts were all the fuel I needed to keep pounding forward. IT FELT GREAT!!!
For those of you struggling in the trenches with me, keep up the fight! I was thinking for a minute today that a guy in my poor physical condition could easily kill-over with a heart attack from pushing myself too much, but I decided if that were to happen, I was only speeding up the inevitable by trying to fix my body before it fixes me. Now…my ticker has always been pretty good, luckily great heart-heath runs in my family or I’d be worm-food already, and I really don’t think I’ll kill over anytime soon. But if I do, I’d rather bite-the-bullet charging forward across the battlefield, firing-at-will, than turning up among the dead with a bullet in my back! Sounds gruesome I know, but I am tired of retreating from this personal battle! It has driven me into retreat for the final time!
PS Please note that no animals were injured in the writing of today’s blog, don’t text and drive, and please please please…check with your doctor before starting any exercise program.

It’s a 12,000 calorie culinary miracle…

Today was known as “The Day of Salads”! I foraged a tuna, lettuce, and veggie salad for lunch and a bean and lean beefy taco-type salad for dinner. Both were very tasty and I hope healthy. You know what they say about most taco-salads with all the salty sauces, sour cream, and that deep-fried eatable tortilla bowl. “It’s a 12,000 calorie culinary miracle…but is it healthy? You bet! It’s a salad!” Hopefully mine was a bit less than 12,000 calories (More like around 300) but it did taste pretty good as far as protein-laden “shrubby” is concerned.
Tomorrow is the big weigh in. It will be fun to see where I’m at. I had to have gained a fair amount over New Year’s weekend but as long as the weight is all gone by tomorrow, I might consider eating that stuff at the party well-worth-it. It was all pretty tasty, and after all…New Year’s Eve is still just once a year, right?
Now, if I have not recovered from the splurge…I won’t be so cocky come morning.
A good friend of mine is going to research some races that we all might consider entering. She’ll get me the info tonight and I’ll let you know how it looks. I know a race sounds scary, but think of the incentive that kind of commitment will provide. We won’t have to run it together, everyone can just lumber along at their own pace. The golden-crown will be found in the preparation and in simply making it to the finish line, not the impossible victory. So who cares how fast we run? Just “Run, Forrest! Run!”
Well, wish me luck for in the morning! Until then…

I considered smuggling in a Slim-Fast shake...

Just got home from the movie and would you believe I didn’t partake of the traditional movie munchies? I didn’t have any non-traditional treats either, although I considered smuggling in a Slim-Fast shake but then thought better of it. I’m not saying that a man can never have movie popcorn again, a world without that would suck, but for now I am holding fast. I’ve barely recovered from the crud I ate over New Years (even though it was all very tasty) so I figure I’ll deny myself of more “crud” for a while.
Any thoughts on us running a race together? Any thoughts on anything else? Are there even any of you still out there? Everyone’s been pretty quiet theses past few days. Since the Holidays actually. I hope you’re all doing well. Give me a shout when you have time.

Thinking more about entering some kind of race...

This entry is going to be a smidge in the “short but sweet” side. Life is great. You all are great! Thanks for being there for me and I am glad to be there for those of you who are working hard to have a better, healthier life. I had a great walk (with dumbbells) this morning and I am already looking forward to tomorrow’s exercise. Walking indoors is the perfect thing for me right now. Not having to deal with slick roads and subzero air blasting into my lungs has made it so I can move faster and work harder without any extra worries of falling or burning my unhealthy lungs out.
I’ve been thinking more about entering some kind of race in the spring. I know I can be ready. If I could do a short one around April and a slightly longer one in July, that would be awesome. I need to pick one and get registered so I can train specifically for the distance. Help me pick a race location that is central to everyone and let’s enter it together. That would be very cool if we got 6 or 10 or 20 of us to train and then go run it together! Any takers? Any suggestions as to when and where? Think of how motivating it would be if we all entered together and then we could help each other keep up with the training schedule. COME ON! JUST DO IT!!!

Sweeter than that crusty chocolate Santa Clause we’ve been considering!

Today I tried something new…and I liked it. I’ve been exercising at the school for the past several days but this time I went at 6:15am rather than 9:15. It was a bit early in the morning for my taste (unless there is a hunting trip involved) but overall it felt great to get the ol’ heart pumping that hard before daylight.
I’ve had a few more of you jump on board and pledge to get healthier this year. That is so awesome. I hope we can all meet our goal of living a better, healthier life.
I have to admit; today’s been a bit of an adjustment to pass on the few lingering Christmas treats that are lurking around my house. What was considered legal “grindage” over the Holidays is off limits now, at least for a while. I found myself wanting a sweet treat around 11:00 but thankfully there was an orange nearby and it saved my life.
I hope you’re all making the adjustment of healthy, everyday living without too many problems. Let’s remember to be patient with ourselves if we mess up and don’t let little nutrition mishaps trick you into calling it quits. The healthy-living paydays along our way are sweeter than that crusty chocolate Santa Clause we’ve been considering and certainly more savory than those sausage and cream cheese stuffed mushrooms that have been pushed to the back of the fridge since New Year’s Eve. Just say no!!! Pass on trash!!!

KSL 5 will be running our “Christmas with the Cops” story tonight at 6 & 10

After giving the UHP several days to comply, KSL 5 will be running our “Christmas with the Cops” story tonight at 6 & 10. We’re not angry with the officers. As far as we know, they were just doing their jobs, but we don’t think it’s fair when police agencies withhold details of a case when the information has already been deemed by the courts as “a matter of public record”. Hopefully the story will get the attention of state lawmakers and some basic rights for the wrongfully accused will be established into law.

Today was one of those little paydays I keep talking about.

Yikes. I missed posting yesterday and didn’t even notice. I guess it was okay to give you an extra day to digest my 01-01-2010 entry because it was a bit “heavy”. I was hoping to get a touch more feedback on that one but I think the Holidays have us all too tired to blog. I am so dang excited about the New Year. I had a wonderful Christmas Season, but I am more than ready to get back to my healthy routines and start posting some bigger weight loss numbers over the next several weeks.
Today was one of those little paydays I keep talking about. I wore a pair of dress pants to church that I had not been able to fit into for at least nine-months. I was looking pretty dapper if you ask me. I broke out a few my other clothing items that I am almost able to wear. They are lined up in my closet, “on-deck” until I can slide my way into them again.
I’ve had a few more of you come on board, pledging to get in better shape for the New Year and I expect there’ll be more. If you’re one of the fence sitters, just get off your rear and join us. There is an untold strength in numbers. Now is the time. We’ve been carrying this burden long enough and it’s time to just let this one go and live the life we were meant to live. Come one, JOIN US!!!

Not some dragon we need to slay.

01-01-2010.
Wow, what a party weekend! I hope you all had a sweet New Year’s Eve. By the way, is it just me or does today’s date seem to have extra ones and zeros?
What a great thing it has been to post like this every day. I love that you are all with me. I love that I hear from many of you often, and I love when someone brand new finally chimes in to let me know they are following along, and even better, to let me know they are fighting an important battle-of-the-bulge of their own. I say battle but it’s really war, with battles won and battles lost a hundred-thousand times a year. NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER! The strange thing is, right now as I am writing this, I wonder if using war terminology is the healthiest of metaphors. What if finding our weight loss groove is more like what Bagger Vance told Rannulph Junah in Robert Redford’s golf movie starring Will Smith and Matt Damon? Here is a direct quote from Ol’ Bagger himself, speaking to the war-torn Rannulph Junah.

“Put your eyes on Bobby Jones... Look at his practice swing, almost like he's searchin’ for something... Then he finds it... Watch how he settles his self right into the middle of it, feel that focus... He got a lot of shots he could choose from... Duffs and tops and skulls, there's only ONE shot that's in perfect harmony with the field... One shot that's his, authentic shot, and that shot is gonna choose him... There's a perfect shot out there tryin' to find each and every one of us... All we got to do is get ourselves out of its way, to let it choose us... Can't see that flag as some dragon you got to slay... You got to look with soft eyes... See the place where the tides and the seasons and the turnin' of the Earth, all come together... where everything that is, becomes one... You got to seek that place with your soul Junah... Seek it with your hands don't think about it... Feel it... Your hands are wiser than your head’s ever gonna be... Now I can't take you there Junah... Just hopes I can help you find a way... Just you... that ball... that flag... and all you are...”

Can you feel it? The quote was written about golf, but it has to apply to us and our quest for a better, healthier life. When you read it, what did you feel? Tell me, was there anything in it we can use? Let me know your “take” on this. Let’s see if we can teach each other something about becoming our “authentic” self and about searching for inner peace, and not some dragon we need to slay.

My new weight is...

It’s time to party like is 2009!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! And what a superb year it has been and December for me truly has been one to remember! Who is foolish enough to start a weight loss program right before the Holidays? It would never work…right? Well, I’m here to tell you that it would never have worked for me without you! I jumped on the scales this morning not knowing what to expect and ended up being pleasantly surprised. My new weight is 322.6 lbs. That’s down 3.3 lbs for this week…yes, that’s right; I lost 3.3 lbs during the week of Christmas!!! And that’s 24.1 lbs for the month of December. Like I said, UNFORGETABLE!
I am so grateful for your support. I grateful for those of you who have joined with me in this quest for a better, healthier life and I certainly anticipate that more of you will come forward and make yourselves known as the time for New Year’s resolutions is upon us.
A few words about those resolutions. Be reasonable. I think all too often we set ourselves up for failure by setting goals we can no way accomplish and then surprise-surprise, when we fail we get down on ourselves and give up. This is something I’ve put a great deal of thought into and tomorrow I will post more about how to set high, but attainable long term goals and how to use the practice of setting smaller short term goals that will inch us towards getting where we want to be.
On a different note. Sam Penrod from KSL will be here within the hour. I want to stress again that I am not out to hurt the police nor add more stress to their already chaotic lives, but I do feel that better policies should be in place to help the wrongfully accused.

After all, next time it could happen to you.

What a great day! Went for an hour-long walk this morning. I took the little dumbbells again. Not only do those suckers get heavy after a while, but their hanging from my hands reminds me to move my upper body as I walk. I had a hard time eating my 5 or 6 squares again today. But I ate some killer fish and a mess of sweat potatoes for dinner. Excellent.
I’m going to weigh-in tomorrow as I will be bringing in the New-Year out of town come Friday morning. I’m not sure what the scales will say but I still feel much slimmer and certainly much healthier than I did at the onset of my journey. To think that a food worshiping guy like me lost even an ounce of pudginess during December is awesome, but if I can keep the pudge-loss at around 20 lbs, that is truly cause for celebration. You all think the big party tomorrow night is about ringing in the New Year, but it’s about those of us who left 2009 as better, stronger people. Thanks to you, I’m in that category and 2010 better hold on tight!
Tomorrow is important for another reason. KSL is going to swing by in the morning and interview me about the police incident. I’m not going on TV to bawl about why this happened to me or to complain about being left to lay in the cold for a few minutes, nor am I going on a witch-hunt after police officers who were just doing their job. This is about securing basic rights for innocent people.
KSL has petitioned the highway patrol for a copy of the 9-1-1 call, all radio transmissions about my family, and the dash-cam-video of the incident. If they get it, they’ll be doing better than you and I if we were to try on our own. People who have gotten lawyers don’t have much luck getting the police to answer them either. That’s why we chose to work with the press. I am sure all will go fine and KSL will put together a very fair story. From there, I hope for the opportunity to bend-the-ear of someone from the State Legislator to learn if we can draft a simple bill that gives better recourse for the wrongfully accused. Wish me luck and try not to laugh to hard when the dash-cam footage shows me kissing the pavement! After all, next time it could happen to you.

THAT IS CRAP!

I was blown away by all the posts, emails, and phone calls I got over my “Christmas with the Cops” entry last night. Thanks for your concern as well as your advice, and thank you for sharing your stories of unjust police. I am still unsure as to what to do. I talked to an attorney and he said the only type of recourse the police ever pay attention to is when they have to answer to the media. He said that in Utah we are so pro-police that when these things go to court the civilian almost never wins…no matter what. Even when the wrongfully accused are tazered, beaten with nightsticks, or even attacked by K-9 dogs. If the details of those cases fell on the deaf ears of judge and jury, my case will never fly either. Having said that, and without being on a witch-hunt to nail cops who screw up, I do feel there is much to be done via petitioning the state legislature, the governor, and so on to improve police policy in these areas. I will most likely launch a campaign through the media and then use whatever other resources that become available to make sure the wrongfully accused have basic rights. I am still hashing out in my mind what I personally think some of those rights should be. For one, if the incident costs the wrongfully accused money to fix the damage done by the police, I think the police should have to pay for it. I think there should be an automatic system in place for the wrongfully accused to have immediate and free access to all police recordings (9-1-1 calls, radio transmissions, and dash cam video) that are relevant to the case. Then after viewing everything that took place, the wrongfully accused can decide what to do about how everything was handled by police.
If I chose to fight this, the most important thing for everyone to understand is that I am not doing this for myself. I am so over what happened. The part I can’t get over is how many of you have told me of similar stories from within your own circle of influence and not once has the police been held accountable in any way, nor have the police cooperated with the innocent victim in their quest to obtain the police recordings about the incident. THAT IS CRAP!
Now, on to my weight loss. I got up and had a great walk this morning. 2 or 3 miles I’d guess and I packed some small dumbbells for some extra resistance to my arms. I’ve had a hard time eating my small meals every 2 or 3 hours today because I’ve been down to the farm most of the day, but I have ate healthy when I did eat. I am excited to be back on track after the Holidays and with the exception of a New Year’s party, I am planning on perfect eating all week and then eating healthy forever after the first of the year.
The other cool thing was that all of the clothes I got for Christmas were too big for me by the time the presents were opened. I took everything back and got a gift card and as I drop sizes I’ll go buy some new clothes. That will be awesome when I hit that landmark.
Sorry to have posted so much news about my police case. If I launch a campaign against the “man” I’ll start posting the updates under a different blog address so it does not take away from this one.
Thanks for reading and I’ll catch you all tomorrow.

My being pulled over by fleet of State Troopers pointing shotguns at me

The weather outside is frightful, but it’s not nearly as horrifying as the case of mistaken identity that ended with my being pulled over by fleet of State Troopers pointing pistols and shotguns at me on Christmas night. My family and I were stopped by police on I-15 near Payson while traveling home from a Christmas party just after dark. I was ordered via loud speaker to keep my hands visible, shut off the vehicle, unbuckle my seatbelt, and open the car door…and remember; I’m supposed to be doing all of this while keeping my hands visible. Imposable, Right? Once out of the car, I was commanded at gunpoint to walk backwards with my hands up until it was time for me to get face down on the ground, spread eagle, without a coat while I waited to get tazed, or cuffed, or whatever it was the officers had in mind.
In the end, it turns out that a carless or possibly even malicious tipster that was driving behind me called 9-1-1 and misinformed the Highway Patrol dispatcher that I was holding a person at gunpoint in the backseat of my truck. Of course I was not. The passenger in question was my mother and the so-called pistol could only have been the cell phone I passed to her because she wanted to make a Christmas phone call. One by one, some of the officers slunked back to their cars and drove away. After 20-30 minutes I was eventually let off the frozen pavement, un-cuffed and sent home. There was no apology and very little explanation as to why this had happened.
I find it an absolute atrocity that right here in America that one anonymous person can make a phone call and get innocent people into such a life threatening predicament.
I know that this will seem strange but I have not been myself since this happened, though I am feeling better about it all today. We did not open our Christmas presents until the night of the 26th and then it was only because we had to. As far as posting to my weight loss blog, everything has taken a back seat to my wrangling the phones with police, trying to find some answers. No luck so far. They really don’t have a lot of accountability. Problems are handled internally whenever possible.
Sorry that my absents gave everyone such a scare. I will start posting happier blogs tomorrow.
PS I’ve been in contact with the TV media and they would love to put this police story on the prime time news. I am wondering if it’s the only way to get the police to cooperate with me in my quest for the dash cam video and other recordings related to my case. Tell me your opinion. Should I let the news run the story or do you all think it best to just let it all blow over?

Get’er done!

Part of me is pretty sad about the numbers I have to report today and part of me is quite okay with this week’s results. Six days ago I weighed 325.9 lbs and my current weigh is 326.8. As you can see, that’s up 9/10ths of a pound. Obviously I wish I was down and not up, but to only be up such a small amount considering the parties I’ve been to is something I can live with. I was thinking yesterday how this has still been the healthiest Holiday Season I have celebrated in at least 10 years. I know that I’m not out of the woods yet, but to have gained so little when I would have normally gained so much makes me want to hold on even harder for the next day and a half. The bottom line is that I am still down 19 lbs for December! Plus I’ve got time to lose even more before the New Year.
Tomorrow is Christmas and that means we’ll all be too busy for blogging. If I happen to get a chance, I’ll sneak away from the festivities and jot a quick entry but I won’t expect much of a response. I wish you all the best and encourage you (and myself) to figure out for you personally what it means to “feast responsibly” and then…get’er done!

It’s the night before weigh-in and all through the house…

It’s the night before weigh-in and all through the house…
Well, tomorrow is the big day and I’m not sure how great it will be. Last week I was nearly perfect with my nutrition but sucked on exercising and still lost 5 lbs. This week I have been good at exercise but have not had the best success with the nutrition. I’m hoping to lose a few lbs but I’m scared I might break even or even be up a few. No matter what happens, I’m not going to get discouraged or anything. I’ll just have to regroup. I know there will be lots of fancy foods for the next two days but after that, I’ll have one good week before the end of the month and that should add to my already great progress. I’m going to join the local gym, maybe as early as Monday, but for sure by the first of the year and that will make it so the weather won’t hamper my outdoor exercising.
I hope you all are doing well and are having a wonder Holiday Season. See you tomorrow.

I’m having a hard time

Man, I don’t know why it is, but I’m having a hard time eating my 5 or 6 small meals. I guess I’ve been too busy to think about mealtime every three hours. I did not go over on calories today but they were only spread out over three meals.
I got up this morning and decided I’d better get my jog in early today because of the snow but by the time I could get ready to go there was a few inches already on the roads. I have an indoor workout planned for tonight.
The past few days have been more like survival mode than weight loss mode. I hope to at least maintain what I have lost by this Thursday. One good friend pointed out that me losing 20 lbs in December is really like losing 35 lbs because most years I would have put on 15. I guess that’s true.
How are you all fairing weight-wise over the Holidays? I know it would do me some good to hear from you.

Time to adjust my game plan

For exercise today, I hiked the big hill and ran part of the way. I wish I could say that the stress on my vitals was exhilarating but I‘m not quite there yet. Before bed, I’ll hit the Cardio-Glide and do several sets of crunches and leg lifts.
It may be time to adjust a minor detail of my game plan. I’ve only been weighing myself once per week because I heard of a guy who did it that way and it seemed like a great plan for me as well. Besides, I figured if it’s a good enough policy for the Biggest Loser then it ought to be good enough for me…but now I am rethinking it. The Biggest Loser does it that way for showmanship and the other guy I knew does it as a way to maintain the weight he has already lost. The reason I am thinking of weighing more often, at least for now, is because I want more immediate feedback on how my health choices are affecting my body. If I’m doing something that’s going to “tank” my weight loss for the week, I’d rather find out right away and fix it. Let me know what you think. I suppose that if I do weigh more often, I’ll still only post it on Fridays. After all, we’ve got to have some drama, right?

DANGEROUS scenario for a pig-out disaster!

Well, after all my big pledging to “feast responsibly”, it turns out that I must not understand my own concepts very well. We had a big family Christmas party out in Tooele and we were there most of the day. I had a proper breakfast at about 8:00am and then did not have the opportunity to eat again until the hors d'oeuvres were spread on the table at 3:00pm. DANGEROUS scenario for a pig-out disaster! Years back, I once had to step in front of a runaway horse to try and turn it around. As the gelding barreled towards me his eyes were rolled to the back of his head and I knew there was no stopping him. He was running blind. Well, that’s pretty much how I approached the dinner table tonight. I knew it was Christmas and I had planned to partake but I failed to plan exactly what that meant. As a result, sadly, I gorged like there was no tomorrow. Just like that runaway gelding, my eyes rolled back and I was barreling blind…and no one could have stopped me. Not even thoughts of you or my duty to write this blog entry tonight.
I don’t feel like tonight’s splurge is the end of the world, it’s just Christmas, but I have got to have better eating parameters set up before Thursday! In the meantime, what’s done is done and I can’t take it back. Now I am interested to see how tonight binge will affect the scales on Thursday (I plan to weigh early this week because of Christmas being on Friday). I will be back on track with proper nutrition and exercise tomorrow. I’ll work my butt off and then let the cellulite chips fall where they may!
Tonight marks the end of my perfect control streak. I am sorry to all those who may be disappointed in me. Hopefully, you had better success than I. I can see that I must have a premeditated plan as to what I am going to eat, and what my limits are. Tonight, I was running blind, but it’s my own fault for not lighting my own path!
I am very interested in your feedback on what I did to myself. Please post a comment, shoot me an email, or give me a call! Thanks everybody.
PS It was a very fun party, and I must say that if I was going to have a free day, I could not have picked better company or a better menu!

My very first jog in 2009!

Today was packed with getting ready for Christmas, then I got in such a great writing grove that I darn near blew off my exercise, but fearing the recourse from my support group I went out for my very first jog in 2009! Well, I guess you could call it a jog/walk. I walked a few blocks to get warmed up and then I jogged a block and walked one, repeating the process until I’d gone 1.2 miles. It felt good to blow out the windpipe…and boy was I blowing. When I was 19 years old, I’d worked my way up to running 91 miles per week. After my mission I got up to about 25 per week. Today’s 1.2 was a far cry from my athletic prime but by spring I should be well on my way to my former cardiovascular glory.
I have to admit, I didn’t eat as good today. I did not go over on calories, but I ate them in three meals instead of 5 or 6…and, I might have snuck one of those one-inch by one-inch cheesecake squares like they have at Costco and Sam’s. It was the first unplanned treat I’d eaten since this whole thing began. Not the worst thing in the world but the slip up scared me a little. That’s why I had to be sure and hit the streets tonight even though it was cold, and dark, and the roads were icy. To slack off twice in one day would go a long ways towards my physical fitness demise.
Tomorrow is the big family Christmas party and there will be festive foods. I plan to eat some of them…but I will feast responsibly and then blog a detailed report for your scrutiny. I am going to be very careful during the Holidays but I still plan on partaking within reason. I was tempted to boycott all Holiday foods but I finally decided that it was not the Holidays that got me in such lousy shape. My problem was that I ate nearly every meal like it was a grand celebration, and then I sat on my butt day-in and day-out, letting it all turn to fat.
Well, wish me luck and I wish you the same! Merry Christmas and remember to feast responsibly!

Exercise report for the day.

Okay, after posting that I’d done a lousy job at working out these past few weeks, I had more than a few of you call me to repentance. One good friend, after giving me a brief but scathing rebuke said, “Sorry to go all ‘Jillian’ on you, but you needed to hear it!” He was right. I did need to hear it. So as promised, here is my exercise report for the day. I did three sets of fifty on my Cardio-Glide, three sets of 15 crunches, three sets of 10 leg lifts, and I walked as fast as I could up and down the steepest hill in Nephi (not sure on the distance, but if was a good huff for a big ol’ boy like me) and my heart thanked me for all of it…and now I’m thanking you for your encouraging me to step it up. From now on, my blog won’t mean anything unless I report to you about my exercise and eating. PLEASE HOLD ME TO THAT!!!

Wow…not as good as I predicted.

It’s Friday!!! That’s right, weight-loss-watchers…its weigh-in day!!! I’m hoping to make double figures again but we’ll find out in a few seconds. First, I just wanted to say that my relationship with the bathroom scale is going very well. Last week I could hardly stand to walk by the fool-thing without sneaking a peek at my progress, but this week, I’ve only been tempted a few fleeting times to check my weight in secret. I’m not saying that it’s a grievous sin to weigh in every day, but I don’t think it’s good to micro manage to the point that you’re jumping on there after every workout and every meal.
Well, it’s time to make the short pilgrimage to the bathroom. Remember, my all-time high was 371, my weight at the onset of this leg of my journey was 346.7, last week I was 331.3 and my weight today is…drum roll please…ouch! You’re leaning this as I am…my current weigh is 325.9??? Wow…not as good as I predicted. I had fantasies about skipping the 320’s altogether. But, it’s still a loss of 5.4 lbs! And I was never hungry all week (except at bedtime…which is how it should be). But then again, I can do much better on my cardio and free-weights, and I will do better this week, but I also need to remember that this is the month of December for crying out loud! I could have easily gained 20 lbs over the last two weeks rather than losing 20. So life is still great!
So far, my eating has been perfect, but I’ve pretty much sucked at exercising. To help me get it done, I’m going to post all of my physical activity each night as part of my blog. If you ever catch me not posing it, or not exercising enough…please call me on it! Organized cardio and free-weights is the next piece of my weight loss puzzle and I’ve been neglecting it big time….until now. Please let me know that you expect an exercise log from me every day! I usually don’t post twice on Fridays, but I WILL make a brief post tonight to report today’s cardio and etcetera. DON’T LET ME FORGET!!!

A full scale, four-alarm nutritional disaster!

This is certainly going down in my book as a “December to remember”. I still don’t completely understand why my going public about this weight loss battle has made me so strong. Today I was in no less than five of my most tempting stores when it comes to buying treats. I was on the road, alone…a classic recipe for a full scale, four-alarm nutritional disaster! Wal-Mart, Shopko, Kmart, Walgreens, Family Dollar…all of them loaded with tempting holiday candies, and I never gave any of it a second look. Well, that’s not entirely true. I did steel a double take at the family-sized Almond M&M’s at Walgreen. I do love those little candy coated vixens…and heaven only knows I’ve bought at least 25 bags of them this year alone and ate them all by myself. That’s why it’s so crazy to think that I did not buy any today. You know, just to have some as a-going-down-the-road refreshment. After all, that’s what I’ve always done…but not anymore, thanks to you guys.
In fact, as I think about it, today was littered with fatty temptation. I mentioned last night that I stayed over at my kid sister’s house. She’s a sweet gal, and a heck of a good cook…again…a recipe for nutritional disaster. But, she’s following my blog. She knows as well as anyone how hard I’m working at this so the only foods she tried to temp me with was a green salad for supper and a Slim-Fast shake for breakfast. (Thanks, Sis!) Then tonight I had the privilege of speaking at a ward Relief Society Christmas party and they had $200 bucks worth of Costco hors d'oeuvres as a reward for the ladies who made it through my talk. I could have heartily indulged with those ladies, but I have plans to feast responsibly at my brother’s house this coming weekend so I felt it wise to “pass” on tonight. Besides, at least three of the women in attendance tonight are following my blog and I didn’t want to let them down. What if they were counting on me to eat right so they would be strong enough to do the same? See how it works? Where all in this together!
Oh, and one more thing. Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!! And that means it’s time for another trip to the scales. I’d love to log-in a repeat of last week’s 15lbs, but who knows? Anything over 10 will be killer, anything less than 10 will…still be okay.
PS Can you tell I’m in much brighter sprits than I was last Thursday? It’s this new healthy lifestyle that does it to me. I highly recommend it!!!

pretty short

Whew! I almost forgot to post tonight. I'm staying over at my kid sister's place so I will keep this pretty short. Life is great and its only getting better!

Better than a contest!

This blog is so much better than being in a weight loss contest! The people on the Biggest Loser have to worry about life once they get sent home, if you’re in a local weight loss contest you are concerned about what will happen when the contest is over. I have no worries because I am already home and there is no contest. It’s just me and my new life.
I was thinking that I ought to post a bit of my weight loss history so you’ll have an idea where I’ve been. My max weight in high school was chunky 238 lbs. I slimmed down my senior year to lean 185. On my mission I got up to a plump 260. Once I got home I slimmed down to 198 and had a 32 inch waist. The most I have ever weighted was whopping 371 about two years ago. I hit the gym for a while and dropped to 319 and then went back up to the 347 that I was when this phase of my journey began. It’s obvious that I’ve been in a very dangerous yoyo pattern that has left me even heavier on the up-swing than I was before I started. With all of that behind me, I am looking forward to some cool milestones. I was happy that I weighed 331 on Friday because that is so close to being in the 320’s and I have not been there for a long time. Then comes the three-teens and I have not been below that for at least 7 or eight years. Then comes the 200s! What a landmark. I have not been there for at least 10 years! Then I’ll hit 271 and that will signify a loss of 100lbs!!! What a great day that will be. By then I plan to have a better idea as to what my final weight should be and I will set goals accordingly.
Well, so now you know. Thanks again for your support, and for those who are working along with me, I have not heard from some of you for a while so please drop me a note and let me know how you’re coming along.

I can’t believe that this is going so well.

Life is great! I can’t believe that this is going so well. Never did I think I would feel this much control over my eating. I never falter, I never skip a beat. The power I get from you all following my progress is making me so much stronger than I would ever have been on my own.
Question: I’m still planning on posting to my blog every day but only posting on Facebook each Friday. I hate to post so often that I become a “Facebook Pest”. What do you think?

I don’t feel the slightest bit deprived.

Man, I feel good. This is the second Sunday in a row where I had a killer dinner yet everything was perfectly proportioned and very healthy. The best part is that I don’t feel the slightest bit deprived. I can truly see myself living this way forever.
Last night’s dinner/game party was a breeze as well. The food was great and I took just the right amount and never looked back. The serving of cobbler I planned to eat was also good but I only ate about 2/3 of what I took. What a difference it’s made to have you all helping me! I’d never of had this much strength on my own. Thanks a million!

Have a planned treat now and again.

Great day! Home alone all day and still I kept my health promises. Tonight I am going to a party where there will be dinner. I’m going to take one helping and savor it. Also, I’m bringing a Dutch Oven cobbler and have planned to eat one serving. It will be the first sugar, or any unhealthy food for that matter, that I have ate since I began this journey. I think it’s important to have a planned treat now and again. Wish me luck. Catch you tomorrow.

That’s like a 10% reduction!!!

You all ready for this? I felt like a kid on Christmas Eve while trying to fall asleep last night. I just laid in bed thinking about how great I’m going to feel as I keep getting closer to my personal fitness goals. When the clock rolled past midnight I darn near got up and jumped on the scales right then because I was dying to see my new weight. So here are the BIG numbers. My start weight was 346.7 and my new weight is 331.3!!! That is exactly 15.4 lbs lost!!! Can you believe it? From my past experience, I thought the number might be a bit higher, but like I said the other day, I didn’t do a giant “last supper” the night before my original weigh-in and I have not been starving myself this week either. Well…what more is there for me to say today? Nothing…except…WOW!!! 15.4 lbs!!! That’s like a 10% reduction!!! THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME DO THIS YOU GUYS!!! THANKS FOR YOUR HELP!!!

I fear the “honeymoon” portion of my public weight loss journey may be fading...

Today has been the hardest so far and I’m certain some very tough days are ahead. I’m still doing the work; I’m not a slacker, but I’m feeling a bit “run down” and bit prone to devouring a sack full of Kit Kats or something. You’re all still on my mind enough that I haven’t faltered but I fear the “honeymoon” portion of my public weight loss journey may be fading away for some of us. Just like naive newlyweds, I will soon meet with the harsh reality of the massive scope and breadth of my “‘til death do us part” commitment.

I'm not going to lie to you. I fear tomorrow’s trip to the scales will be extremely pivotal to my morale. I’m expecting to post some rather large, Biggest Loser-type numbers for the first few weeks. I’m thinking 15-20lbs. I’ve lost it that quickly before but it was usually during the first few weeks of a weight loss contest, where I was guilty of sandbagging the scales by indulging in some serious gluttony right before the first weigh-in. Rest assured that I didn’t do anything like that this time as I knew I would only be cheating myself.

I think I’ll post my new weight in the morning rather than at night. If you’re prone to pray, offer a few for me. Otherwise, everybody figuratively hold your breath and exhale with me as I climb on that scale. And please don’t just pray that I’ll lose enough weight by tomorrow to make me happy, but pray that I will be able to deal with the weekly results, good or bad, in the appropriate way. Please stay with me. If you’ve been thinking about sending me a compelling message, now might be a good time. The first hurtle is always the highest, but I draw so much strength from you, especially those of you who are struggling in the trenches with me. I know together we can leap every obstacle on the course, always keeping our feet, or at least always finding the will to get up each time we fall.

Until tomorrow,
Brent

Quest to not have food as the center of my life.

Today was another milestone! A very good friend of mine swung through Nephi to take me to lunch on his way to St. George. He’s been following my blog and actually making and keeping his fitness goals ever since. Knowing we were both on board with the whole “healthily living concept”, I suggested we hit Subway for a “Jared Special”. We both ordered heart-healthy 12 inch sandwiches, determined to eat half now and save half for our next meal. This is something I’ve planned to do a hundred times in the past but more often than not, I’ve found that a half sandwich only wakes my appetite up and then doesn’t have enough staying power to bed it back down. Today was different. I opened the wrapper, took out my half and immediately sacked the leftovers up. Brad did the same. Out of site out of mind! During the meal, we both seemed to naturally focus on the conversation and the pleasure of seeing each again rather than the meal itself. I noticed Brad even set his sandwich down between bits and I ate mine so slow that I almost forgot what kind of sandwich it even was. It took us an hour to eat and though the sandwiches were delicious, the camaraderie was the best part of the meal. It was a huge step forward in my quest to not have food as the center of my life.
As we grazed (I say grazed because the sandwich toppings were more shrubbery than chicken), Brad taught me a principle that I thought was worth repeating here. In a nutshell, he said that it’s not what you know, but how you feel about what you know. Medical doctors that are overweight may be experts in the science of nutrition; they have seen firsthand the life threatening consequences of being too heavy, but evidently they don’t feel very strongly about what they know. As an overweight layperson, I know plenty about it too, but until I felt strongly enough about what I knew to actually do something about it, I was never going to change. Maybe because reading is so much easier than using the Stairmaster, when we fail at losing weight, we think we need to read more diet books when we really need to just pick a good one and live by that sucker. This concept is the same for any act that we commit despite our knowing better. When I don’t do what I know I should, I certainly don’t need more knowledge, what I need is a working testimony of what I already have. Without the right kind of conviction, all the knowledge in the world will not be enough to constitute positive change in anyone.

Day four of my new life.

I’m in the middle of day four of my new life and I’m just dying to hop on the scales, but I won’t. Not until Friday. Although it would be fun to see just how well things are going. For now, my best indicator is that I my shirts and pants are fitting a bit better. I’m sure it’s not because I’ve lost that much weight in four days, but I’m no longer the constantly “overstuffed-turkey” that I once was. Before Friday, it was nothing for me to gulp down a 44oz beverage during a ginormous high calorie meal that was usually the size of a small watermelon. That mass I referred to as breakfast, lunch, or dinner had to accumulate some place temporary as my body toiled for hours trying to figure out where in the heck to stash everything I just ate. And my innards had to work quickly because I was about to refill it again in 3 or 4 hours. Now, my meals are streamlined, 5 or 6 small meals per day. My body seems to enjoy the lighter digestive workload and the temporary storage container in my gut does not poke out near nearly as much as a result.
Now I want to shift gears a bit. Some of you may be wondering what started all of this. The following is an excerpt from an email reply I wrote to a good friend of mine and it sums it up pretty well.
The decision to do this came very sudden. It was a very spiritual thing. The Holy Ghost pretty much said out-of-the-blue, "You need to post your struggles with weight loss on your blog". I mulled the idea around for a few days and the nagging thoughts would not leave me. Then one night, I simply knew it was time. I started texting Yori about it; half hoping he would talk me out of it, but at the same time, knowing that he would encourage me to just take the plunge.

I wrote the first blog entry but resisted clicking the "post" button, feeling the whole thing was dumb and certainly embarrassing, and EVERYONE would know about my problem. But then, something spiritual came over me again and I hit the freaking button for all I was worth. The inner peace I felt was immediate. Somehow, I know that this is going to work!

PS After making sure that someone in the gym new CPR, I agreed to play full court basketball tonight with the scouts. It was awesome!

Believe that it's out there waiting!

Can I just say that I feel great? I mean really really great! Already! That’s the coolest part about your body. It’s like my organs were just “dying” (literally) for me to start doing something healthy so they could reward me with an extra dose of exuberant zip. I think the biggest weight loss deterrent for most big people is that we feel overwhelmed. We have so much weight to lose that it seems impossible, especially when you don’t feel like waddling across the street, let alone doing any serious exercise. You step on the scale and realize how much weight you must lose to be considered skinny, and you know from past failures that you’ll never be able to diet long enough to even make a dent in your problem. The motivation to reach your target weight gets lost in the sheer amount of time it’s going to take to become thin.
The good news is, like I indicated above, your body is just waiting to reward you with an almost instant boost of energy and improved self-concept. You begin to feel better about everything day by day. Sure the grand prize is how great you’ll feel when you’ve reached your ultimate goal, but the door prizes along the way are enough to keep you going and you don’t have to be considered skinny to win them…just skinny-er. I love horses, but I never ride anymore. I love to get out and hunt, but I never get far from the truck. These are activities that you don’t have to be lean to enjoy but I do need to be lean-er first. I guess what I am finally starting to figure out is that as I become healthier; I will get my life back, probably in the order that my poor heath took it away. Maybe the last thing that I lost is the first thing I’ll get back. I might not even notice some of the earlier milestones but as I venture on, I will have some great “paydays” along the way. It will be like finding fifty-bucks on the ground, only better, because I would then be healthy enough to repeat the activity whenever I want. Think of that! A residual fifty-bucks always lying on the ground for me to pick up!!! Who wouldn’t finish a journey where there was that kind of incentive all along the way? None of us! We just need to believe that it's out there waiting!
Well, that’s it for today. Thanks again for all of your comments. Make a few as you can, it’s the only way I will ever know you’re really there.
PS Anyone know how many calories a big guy like me might burn after five laborious hours of shoveling snow? It was a heck of a workout for a big ol’ boy I know that. Plus we’ve got lots more snow on the way. I was due for a good workout today because that is the next piece of the heath puzzle I need to pay more attention to. I’m working out a bit each day, but I need to kick it up a few notches.

To race or not to race? A 10k is the question!

12-6-09
Today went great! Sunday dinner was excellent, heavy on the veggies. I took the advice of a good friend who sent me a text at 7:45 this morning. It said, “Remember, only one plate. Never take seconds.” At mealtime, I gave myself and appropriate serving of everything, minus the gravy and roll. I felt very satisfied afterwards even though I ate less than half of what I usually do for Sunday dinner…let alone a “Fast-Sunday” dinner.
I was tempted to jump on the scale this morning to see how things are going but I have decided to only weigh myself once a week (Friday). I think that is the best way to forge a great relationship between me and the bathroom scale. Anything more than that seems a bit obsessive.
Another friend of mine called and said she gains a sense of commitment by entering a race that is a few months away. It gives her a goal to shoot for as she builds herself up to make a strong finish in the race. One of the races she is suggesting is a team relay where each person runs a short leg of a very long route. That one scares the crap out of me because my being able to run it fast or slow…or even run it at all, will affect the whole team. But on the other hand, it sounds like good motivation to keep up with the recommended training schedule. What do you think? Maybe I could get a good enough feeling of commitment from signing up for regular race? I guess I need to get off my butt and hit the pavement either way.
Thanks again for reading. Please let me know how you are doing with your goals as well.

This weight loss blog has been so amazing!

Unbelievable! This weight loss blog has been so amazing and it’s only just getting revved up! It was hard…and still is hard to make all of this public but I can't believe how having you involved has made me feel so much stronger. I still have the usual temptations to eat things I shouldn’t, but almost automatically, I think of this blog and of you who are following along and I remain in control. I’ve never felt this level of commitment towards my heath. Your emails, phone calls, and comments about my posts lift me higher than you can imagine, higher than I could have ever guessed.
I was alone last night and much of today. Normally, I would have used my solitude as an opportunity to chow down like crazy but it turns out that I wasn’t really alone. YOU ALL WERE THERE. Tonight I went to a friend’s 50th wedding anniversary party. Was there cake, chocolate, and nuts? Yes, but YOU WERE THERE too. I traded the cake and chocolate for another tiny nut cup and still enjoyed myself. Now this is not to say I am never going to eat cake or chocolate, especially at parties, but when I do, I will have planned it in advance. I will plan to “feast responsibly” at all Christmas parties this year. With you in mind, I’ll put less on my plate, eat slower, and my reward will be an instant feeling of being in control and I won’t be too stuffed to drive home afterwards.
Please keep sending your support and even your recipes. Some of you have sent heath related web links and those are great too. If you see a health segment on the news, please tell me about it. And for those of you (you know who you are) who have committed to taking better care of yourselves as well, stay the course and let me know how you are doing.
Remember, I am the one who opened the floodgates here so don’t hold anything back. I’ve let myself go to the point that everyone who knows me must have at one time or another wished they could say something to me about my weight. Well, now here is your chance and I will accept it with welcome arms. The only way I will fail at this is if I get to thinking I’m alone. If I ever don’t post, I hope you will call me on it. I am begging you to “come down on me”.
Well, thanks again for helping me have such a great day! Until tomorrow, feast responsibly.

I’m still uneasy about posting all of this personal info but as a result of doing it, I have to admit that today has been great. I’ve had calls and emails from some of you offering your support and others even pledging to get in shape with me. Thank you for your help.
At first, I was thinking that it didn’t matter if any of you were really reading my posts; I just needed to “think” that you were, but now I can see that it does matter. I need to hear from you. If I were sending these posts out like a random message-in-a-bottle, never to be read, I don’t think it would help me to change at all. It has been my offering a degree of commitment and your accepting that offer that has made me feel strong enough to do this. So if you’re really out there, at some point, please make yourself known…and as often as possible. Feel free to hit me up about my progress anytime.
I went without junk food today for the first day in who knows how long. It was tough. About five times I found myself wandering around the kitchen wanting a treat. I ate a ton of fruit and even more veggies instead.
I’ve been thinking about how to manage my food intake and I have not figured that part out for sure. I hate counting calories and I am not sure I am going to have to. I think I will develop an eating philosophy that is based on nutritional rules-of-thumb and concepts such as the following: One friend of mine, when I heckled him about ordering a vegetarian sandwich for lunch, told me something very simple but it honestly blew me away. He said, “Well, I’d rather order the same sandwich as you, but I’ve just found that I can’t eat everything that I want and stay healthy.” Pretty basic rule for most skinny people, but for a fat guy, it provided me with an epiphany because I always eat what I want, every time. Another friend said, “If God made it, you can eat it. If man has messed with it, it is not very good for you.” I like that one too. And the last one I was thinking about today was from a friend who has lost a lot of weight and so far has been keeping it off. He said that it is not possible for him to eat “perfect” every meal, but he has just learned to eat the most nutritional thing available at the time. If he ends up eating lunch some place unhealthy, he still tries to order the best thing possible even if it’s the small burger rather than the usual XXL. All of these concepts feel more like long term lifestyles than fad diets. I’ve tried all the fads and they suck.
Well, thanks for reading and thanks for all of your helpful and caring responses. Hope to hear from more of you soon. I will be posting my new weight every Friday and I’ll try to blog no more or less than once per day.

Okay, so if I was on the Biggest Loser, this would be the part where I tore off my shirt in front of Oprah (I’m sure she watches BL) and everybody, and stepped on the scales to declare my start weight to the world. Well, this ain’t the Biggest Loser, and you ain’t Oprah so I’m not going to post any pictures of me with my shirt off…ever, but I am going to post my weight. Just give me two seconds while I walk into the bathroom and climb on the scale… Are you all ready for this? I wasn’t. As of today, I weigh a whopping 346.7 lbs!!! Yeah, that’s huge! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I need help! Already this morning I have been getting emails from friends and family and I love it. Basically, I’ve opened the floodgates here and that means I am up for suggestions and especially encouragement. It means that for all of you who have seen me waddling around in my blubborious state and wished there was something you could say or do to help me, this is your permission slip, this is me asking for you to talk about it. If you don’t mind letting other people see what you wrote, please post your comment on my blog. If you want to send something that only I can see, email it to me via Facebook or brentboswell@hotmail.com.
I really, really need your help on this one guys, or it won’t work. If I feel like I’m just making promises to myself, I’ll just keep eating and loafing around like I am alone.
PS I kept my promise from yesterday and I rode my cardio glide before I went to bed last night, even though I felt too tired to do it, and despite the fact that I’d actually stacked a bunch of boxes on it that all needed to be moved first. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME DO THIS! THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME KEEP THAT ONE SIMPLE PROMISE TO MYSELF! Please don’t quit on me now!

This is me saying I need help!!!

Does anyone know what the symbols mean between these two parentheses? (• • • — — — • • •) It’s Morse code for S.O.S. and this is me saying I need help; this is my S.O.S. call to whoever is out there...and I almost hope it’s nobody because what I have to say is very personal but I am saying it anyway. No. I’m not gay! But I am tired of being overweight and most of all I hate looking and feeling unhealthy. What I need is to make a long term commitment to a healthy lifestyle...one that I can live with forever. What I don’t have is enough staying power to do what I know I need to do. I need commitment, and that’s where you all come in. I have looked nearly everyone that I love in the eye and swore to them that “today was the day I was going to change!” and I couldn’t keep my promises. I’ve let them down, and more tragically myself, so many times that I don’t even know who I am anymore and I don’t know if they know me anymore either. I am tired of running into old friends from my mission or college to find that they don’t even recognize me...and that has really happened. I’m tired of not being able to do the things I once loved to do. I’m tired of not being as confident about my appearance. I’m tired! I’m tired! I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired for that matter.
But what about you? (If there’s even anybody even reading this.) I haven’t lied to you. I haven’t broken any promises between us have I? What if I sat here tonight and blogged to the world (who may or may not be reading) that tomorrow is a new and better day, a healthier day? What if I posted my hurtles, pitfalls, and progress? Would posting it make a difference to me? Would I have your support or would you be embarrassed for me. I would think it fair if you were embarrassed for me. I am embarrassed myself about this whole crazy idea. I am absolutely the last guy in the world to admit that I need help. I’m usually the one doing the helping, but today is my day to swallow my freaking pride and say that I need help. I need a level of commitment like I’ve never had before and I am hoping, even praying actually, that I can get it from you. Besides, I’m not the only one who struggles with this. I mean after all, we are in America right? Most of us are living far too high on the hog...and the hogs in this country are healthier than most of us by the way.
If I have the guts to post this blog (I’m 467 words into it and I still don’t know if I will do it) will you have the guts to show your support and even join me in a quest for a better life? Either way, I’m in. And to prove it, I am looking you all in the eye right now and swearing that I will not go to bed tonight without doing some sort of exercise, and tomorrow when I wake up, I’m going to post to you that I kept my word about my health for the first time in far too long of a time! And I’m going to keep posting my goals, progress, the ups and downs, for as long as it takes for me to change or until I’m dead...which isn’t far off I’m afraid, if I don’t start taking better care of myself.
PS If you think I sound serious now, wait until in the morning because I am going to post my weight and goals for the day! Holy Crap! I can’t believe I’m doing this but I’m at the end of my pitiful rope! Besides, this is so stupid that it just might work!!!

After accepting an invitation by Valor Publishing to write a review for Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff’s new book I must admit that I wondered what I had gotten myself into. I was busy working on so many other projects that I questioned where I’d ever find the time to read such a book let alone write a decent review. A few days after my commission from Valor, the advanced reader’s copy arrived via U.S. mail and I dutifully put the unopened package on top of the to-do-pile that looms next to my desk…and there it sat, and sat, and sat. The really unfortunate part for me was that every night I’d settle into bed with the usual heavy loads of the day piled up in my mind, wishing I had a truly great fictional read that I could sink my teeth into, a needed diversion from my nonfictional daily grind. I remained in this “fictionally challenged” state for several days until I finally unburied Valor’s shipping envelope, tore it opened, and dumped the book into my hand and experienced the first of many pleasant surprises Mark Shurtleff had to offer. The book I’d deferred reading because I wasn’t in the mood for more political satire, was anything but political, instead it was historical fiction. That’s right, a novel…from a lawyer-politician, and the plot turned out to be very fascinating.
Through his years of research coupled with a heart wrenching storyline, Mark Shurtleff has brought to us an unlikely hero from the annals of true American lore. Am I not a man? The Dred Scott Story had me from hello and I immediately regretted not having the novel situated on my nightstand, half-read. The book’s poignant message is especially timely considering all the trouble that’s going on around us in the world today. All of us think we have problems, and I suppose that sometimes we really do, but Shurtleff’s hero, Dred Scott has us all beat if you ask me. Born in bondage, reared in chains, Dred was deemed another man’s property, chattel that could be bought and sold receiving no more consideration for his own desires than a dumb ox, yet inside of that man were the seeds of genuine greatness that he was destined to do something about.
Dangerously ahead of his time, Dred had the audacity to take the Declaration of Independence at its word “that all men are created equal and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights.” And that doctrine became the platform upon which a black slave dared to challenge the statuesque and unwittingly change the course of American history in the process.
Dred eventually fought for his liberty in the white man’s court, winning the wildest dream of his heart only to bask in his freedom briefly before everything was again taken away as the courts later declared that because Dred was “not even a man” he and the rest of his race were excluded from The Declaration of Independence and even Biblical doctrines concerning the equality of mankind. Fortunately for America, and to my delight as the reader, Dred’s story doesn’t end there and the legal battle for he and his family’s freedom continued. His plight even caught the attention of one Mr. Abraham Lincoln whose eventual Presidency of the United States was heavily influenced by Dred’s infamous battle in court.
A master at his craft, Shurtleff offers the reader a heavy dose of historical data and legalese, but the necessary wealth of information is blended with a fascinating true-to-life storyline that enhances the reader’s understanding of one of the most difficult periods in U.S. history. Highly entertaining and certainly eye-opening—Am I not a man? The Dred Scott story should be added as the new staple to your historical fiction collection.

Brent Boswell
Author, The Mormon Handcart Pageant

Here is the link to purchase the book

http://www.amazon.com/Not-Man-Dred-Scott-Story/dp/1935546007/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259697290&sr=8-1

And the link for the Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Not-Dred-Scott-Story-ebook/dp/B002UD5OVU/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1259697290&sr=8-2

Black Friday--What Christ wants for Christmas

I was thirty years old before I had the guts to experience Black Friday.

When the alarm clock blared at 0300 hours I wondered if I’d somehow woke up in the Marines. By 0400 I was standing frozen in line, shivering, and stamping my feet alongside my mother, sister, and a few hundred equally insane shoppers awaiting the opening bell.

Our shopping list was burned into my brain until the moment the front doors swung wide and everyone surged forward. Once inside I took a terrified look around and realized I’d forgotten everything on our list. Everything!

A quarrel had already broken out slowing the main flow of foot traffic to a crawl. I glanced to my right and then I saw them, part ballerina and part hunter, as they hurdled their way toward the back of the store. Something about the way they carried themselves told me these women were the prima professionals and they were after the “good stuff”.

I too was a hunter of sorts, and here, game was limited to supply on hand with no rain checks. I trailed the hunters to the back of the store where they had already “made the kill”, feeding over a pallet of chrome scooters, the door-buster of the day. I scavenged heartily and was rewarded with three scooters. Then whirling with the throng, I was swept toward another pallet of action figures. With my free hand I grappled for the dolls and got several before they were gone.
Then, just like that, the frenzy was over. I stood there, trembling as the warrior hunters around me were still eyeing each other’s spoils with gluttonous envy. I swallowed hard, holding stone still. In my arms was more booty than I could possibly defend if ever contested. My family arrived just in time, their carts full of lesser items, their faces forlorn until they recognized me quivering behind my armload of loot. “Oh my gosh!” my kid sister exclaimed. “Look at you! How did you get all of this?”

“I…I…I don’t even know. I just grabbed whatever they grabbed.” It was a dangerous thing to say out loud.

“Excuse me!” The loutish woman’s words were polite but her tone was anything but. I froze, sensing that at any sign of weakness, the professionals would likely attack, leaving me near naked and shivering in my underpants. “Excuse me!” The greedy woman growled again as my family stepped quick between her and me in a defensive stance. “If you don’t want those, then give them to me,” the woman insisted.

“Oh, he wants them,” my kid sister hissed, eyes glowering like we were in a vampire confrontation from Twilight.
The intrusive woman backed away with reluctance as I somehow understood that much of my sister’s warning was nonverbal.
At the front of the store, life in the checkout lane was miserable. Babies were bawling, people were cussing, and many were cutting in line despite the angry jeers of protest behind them.

We moved forward at a snail's pace. Scooting a few boxes along with my feet, I began to wonder how the holidays had gone so horribly wrong. All around me was humbug rather than happiness. Was this really what Christ wanted for Christmas?
Then I noticed a woman crying softly up ahead. She had just finished a cell phone call and was reacting to some very bad news. “What’s the matter?” I finally asked over the three shoppers between us.

“It’s my father,” the woman sobbed. “He’s just been taken to the hospital.”
Guessing her dilemma as to where to ditch her cart full of toys and how to extricate herself through the massive slow moving throng, I wedged myself forward and tapped the next person in line. The man grumbled as he turned to face us, his expression softening as he noted the wet streaks down the woman’s cheeks.

“Her father has just been taken to the emergency room,” I explained. “Would you please let her pass so she can pay for her things and get to the hospital?”
“You bet,” the man kindly replied stepping aside as the shoppers behind us listened to what was happening. “Excuse me,” the man then said to the women in front of him. “Would you mind letting this poor lady through, her father was just rushed to the hospital but she needs to pay for her things.”

“Yes, of course,” she answered taking the crying woman by the arm and helping her to the front of the line.

As the woman reached the register, joyful cheers mixed with applause arose from the crowd, and we all delighted in the true spirit of the holidays. It was then that I knew, Christ had gotten what he wanted for Christmas.

New Moon dissed by Billy Ray Jr.

Miley Cyrus, in a last ditch effort to convince the world that she’s no longer a card-carrying member of Disney’s Mickey Mouse Club, made inflammatory statements against “New Moon” specifically and “The Twilight Saga” in general. She’s upset about fictional vampires and werewolves jumping out at her when she watches TV but sees nothing wrong with her then sixteen-year old self, shamefully posing shirtless in sultry magazine spreads or incorporating a stripper style pole-dance in her performance at the Teen’s Choice awards last year. Way to go Billy Ray Jr., and oh…happy SEVENTEENTH birthday! Awe, and she thought we’d forget.